Hi I hope you will be able to give me a little advice. My wife just told me she wants a permanent separation but if I pull my weight work-wise/responsibility-wise/personality-wise etc she WON'T divorce me. To that I asked her if she would have me back and she replied that she doesn't know. We have children and i am devastated. She initially told me our marriage was over days after New year. She realizes I have had some depression issues, situational depression according to my therapist and I don't know if she is trying to be gentle. She values me as the children's father and says she will put up no obstacles between me and the children but we as a couple are over.
She is a christian but has told me she doesn't care about the Bibles stance against divorce any more. She said she no longer frequents a Church and that the Bibles stance on divorce is outdated. this from someone who was ultra fanatical, changed churches 12 times in 10 years , owns many bibles and over 100 christian self help type books.
Sadly my father is very unwell and maybe only has a year to live at the most according to the doctor. If the docs prediction is true and I pray it isn't and he goes on for another 30 years, but if it is I would inherit a large house plus some cash which is approx 30 times the amount my wife earns in earns in a year. Where we live she would be entitled to 50%, especially since we don't own a home.
She never got on with my parents and says she wants nothing from them. She is proud I will give her that.
But who knows ,could she be putting off the divorce to wait for the big bucks rather than the pennies I would pay out if she divorced me now? Or simply saving some money for the divorce?
Forgot to mention we are still in same house, sleeping separately, she shudders if I try to hug her etc which I have tried twice since New Year. She wants me out ASAP , as soon as I can get working again. I have been irresponsible financially, and unfortunately can now see I was emotionally abusive in retaliation to her lack of affection, withholding sex etc but i have never been physical or cheated and I have had many chances.
I realize I need to change but nobody knows a persons individual circumstances and even my therapist said that I have so much baggage IE messed up past etc that 20 bellhops couldn't carry it and maybe its just to much for my wife I had 4 sessions and hope to continue when i am working.
She is a christian but has told me she doesn't care about the Bibles stance against divorce any more. She said she no longer frequents a Church and that the Bibles stance on divorce is outdated. this from someone who was ultra fanatical, changed churches 12 times in 10 years , owns many bibles and over 100 christian self help type books.
Sadly my father is very unwell and maybe only has a year to live at the most according to the doctor. If the docs prediction is true and I pray it isn't and he goes on for another 30 years, but if it is I would inherit a large house plus some cash which is approx 30 times the amount my wife earns in earns in a year. Where we live she would be entitled to 50%, especially since we don't own a home.
She never got on with my parents and says she wants nothing from them. She is proud I will give her that.
But who knows ,could she be putting off the divorce to wait for the big bucks rather than the pennies I would pay out if she divorced me now? Or simply saving some money for the divorce?
Forgot to mention we are still in same house, sleeping separately, she shudders if I try to hug her etc which I have tried twice since New Year. She wants me out ASAP , as soon as I can get working again. I have been irresponsible financially, and unfortunately can now see I was emotionally abusive in retaliation to her lack of affection, withholding sex etc but i have never been physical or cheated and I have had many chances.
I realize I need to change but nobody knows a persons individual circumstances and even my therapist said that I have so much baggage IE messed up past etc that 20 bellhops couldn't carry it and maybe its just to much for my wife I had 4 sessions and hope to continue when i am working.
Put the internet to work for you.
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