I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have any close friends, and I can't talk with my family about my problems as I don't want them to have any resentment towards my wife; or the expected "I told you so." from one party.
My marriage is very one sided. My wife won't work even though we need money. That is mostly my fault, I was unemployed for a period of time before marriage and I have debts. My new salary is better than OK and we'd be in better shape if my wife didn't spend so much money. If I was single, I wouldn't have any debts at all. Before we got married we talked about both of us working, paying debts, saving money and having a family and a house. But she won't take any efforts to find a job on her own. Any job applications that have been submitted, I did them.
She has been able to work for a year and a half and in that time she worked 10 weeks. Of course she needed a new car, clothes and shoes to go to work. She is addicted to shopping and hides it from me. She took out credit cards without my knowledge that I now have to pay. I know men joke about how much women shop but I honestly don't know how many pairs of shoes, sandals and handbags she has, The same for new clothes that appear every week. I do without things so she can have, but it's never enough. I don't even buy asthma medication, and she gets mad at me for not seeing my doctor for refills.
All she wants to do is hang out with her friends, have coffee, eat out, talk/text on the phone and go shopping. Her friends have wealth on their own or through relationships and she expects a standard of living that I can't afford.
To her credit, she does a reasonable job of keeping the house half clean, I do the other half, but I also do the laundry, most of the dishes and all of the other chores.
She won't talk with me about our problems, because they are repetitive in her mind, they are repeatative because she won't do anything to help make our situation better. She is taking medications and seeing a counselor every few months, but it doesn't help. She went through a life changing illness and came through the other side OK, but she wants to live every day like it's the last, and there's no measure of responsibility, planning or accountability. I stayed through sicker and we're sure getting poorer.
I have reached a point where I'm exhausted from not having a partner in life.
My marriage is very one sided. My wife won't work even though we need money. That is mostly my fault, I was unemployed for a period of time before marriage and I have debts. My new salary is better than OK and we'd be in better shape if my wife didn't spend so much money. If I was single, I wouldn't have any debts at all. Before we got married we talked about both of us working, paying debts, saving money and having a family and a house. But she won't take any efforts to find a job on her own. Any job applications that have been submitted, I did them.
She has been able to work for a year and a half and in that time she worked 10 weeks. Of course she needed a new car, clothes and shoes to go to work. She is addicted to shopping and hides it from me. She took out credit cards without my knowledge that I now have to pay. I know men joke about how much women shop but I honestly don't know how many pairs of shoes, sandals and handbags she has, The same for new clothes that appear every week. I do without things so she can have, but it's never enough. I don't even buy asthma medication, and she gets mad at me for not seeing my doctor for refills.
All she wants to do is hang out with her friends, have coffee, eat out, talk/text on the phone and go shopping. Her friends have wealth on their own or through relationships and she expects a standard of living that I can't afford.
To her credit, she does a reasonable job of keeping the house half clean, I do the other half, but I also do the laundry, most of the dishes and all of the other chores.
She won't talk with me about our problems, because they are repetitive in her mind, they are repeatative because she won't do anything to help make our situation better. She is taking medications and seeing a counselor every few months, but it doesn't help. She went through a life changing illness and came through the other side OK, but she wants to live every day like it's the last, and there's no measure of responsibility, planning or accountability. I stayed through sicker and we're sure getting poorer.
I have reached a point where I'm exhausted from not having a partner in life.
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