Dh and I had a fight yesterday and the funny thing is that he will bring up something I said 3 years ago or 15 years ago and then when I bring up his EA's he always gets defensive and says why do you have to bring that up??
Regardless, I managed to get out that I think some of my negative attitude toward him is loss of respect. I told him that when I realized in June 2012 the full scope of what he had done that it was not just one EA but two and that he had also put himself on some of those adult dating sites...that for me my opinion of him changed. When I discovered his one EA in Sept. 2011 he told me that he was not looking for anything like that but it "just happened"..which was a lie because I found out that he had one before that and had put himself on adult sites.
I said that that many times thru our 25 years I was not happy and not once did it every occur to me to go online or seek someone out in real life...because #1 I have morals about that kind of stuff and that fact that if someone is willing to cheat with you on your husband/wife they are pathetic. So to me if a guy would have been okay to go behind my H's back to be with me what does that say about him? Even know when things are rough the thought of cheating does not even register with me...I have no desire or interest in finding anybody else while I am married.
I ended it with the fact that you thought that you and your pathetic AP (who knew you were still maried) would think you had a future together is ridiculous to me....thus my declined respect of him and poor attitude toward him.
I am not saying that how I amhandling things is right because it is not but man the damage that cheating does is incredible even years after.
Regardless, I managed to get out that I think some of my negative attitude toward him is loss of respect. I told him that when I realized in June 2012 the full scope of what he had done that it was not just one EA but two and that he had also put himself on some of those adult dating sites...that for me my opinion of him changed. When I discovered his one EA in Sept. 2011 he told me that he was not looking for anything like that but it "just happened"..which was a lie because I found out that he had one before that and had put himself on adult sites.
I said that that many times thru our 25 years I was not happy and not once did it every occur to me to go online or seek someone out in real life...because #1 I have morals about that kind of stuff and that fact that if someone is willing to cheat with you on your husband/wife they are pathetic. So to me if a guy would have been okay to go behind my H's back to be with me what does that say about him? Even know when things are rough the thought of cheating does not even register with me...I have no desire or interest in finding anybody else while I am married.
I ended it with the fact that you thought that you and your pathetic AP (who knew you were still maried) would think you had a future together is ridiculous to me....thus my declined respect of him and poor attitude toward him.
I am not saying that how I amhandling things is right because it is not but man the damage that cheating does is incredible even years after.
Put the internet to work for you.
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