I've been married 18 years. My second marriage and my wife's first.
So, what makes a successful marriage? One word: SEX.
When someone is getting married and ask if I have any "words of wisdom" I tell them one thing. Keep a small/pocket sized calendar in the night stand and check off every day/night you have sex. When the first major argument/disagreement arises or you feel things are not quite right check the calendar. You'll invariably find the sex decreased and then the arguments/disagreements, the feeling something is not quite right, arose.
People frequently confuse the correlation between the frequency of sex and problems. It's often said problems lead to a decrease in sex but the truth is a decrease in sex leads to problems.
Whether it's outside interests or too busy at home or just not "in the mood" people think sex is not important. Why have sex if one doesn't feel like it? Nobody died from a lack of sex. While that's true many marriages have died due to a lack of sex.
When I use the term sex I'm talking about the time one gets in to bed until they get out of bed. The hugs and caresses. The actual physical act. The pillow talk that follows or just holding each other.
The closeness, both physical and emotional, bonds two people. When a couple go to a restaurant a certain type of conversation takes place. At home, a more private conversation may take place and, in bed, a different type. People open up more as they are closer, physically and emotionally. They have less to hide, both figuratively and literally.
Lying in each others arms they express their hopes and dreams. Just random thoughts which give them an insight into the other person. And the holding reinforces the idea your partner is there to support you.
When two people make love they are more inclined to get along. It's just natural and it keeps the dialogue flowing.
That's my best advice.
So, what makes a successful marriage? One word: SEX.
When someone is getting married and ask if I have any "words of wisdom" I tell them one thing. Keep a small/pocket sized calendar in the night stand and check off every day/night you have sex. When the first major argument/disagreement arises or you feel things are not quite right check the calendar. You'll invariably find the sex decreased and then the arguments/disagreements, the feeling something is not quite right, arose.
People frequently confuse the correlation between the frequency of sex and problems. It's often said problems lead to a decrease in sex but the truth is a decrease in sex leads to problems.
Whether it's outside interests or too busy at home or just not "in the mood" people think sex is not important. Why have sex if one doesn't feel like it? Nobody died from a lack of sex. While that's true many marriages have died due to a lack of sex.
When I use the term sex I'm talking about the time one gets in to bed until they get out of bed. The hugs and caresses. The actual physical act. The pillow talk that follows or just holding each other.
The closeness, both physical and emotional, bonds two people. When a couple go to a restaurant a certain type of conversation takes place. At home, a more private conversation may take place and, in bed, a different type. People open up more as they are closer, physically and emotionally. They have less to hide, both figuratively and literally.
Lying in each others arms they express their hopes and dreams. Just random thoughts which give them an insight into the other person. And the holding reinforces the idea your partner is there to support you.
When two people make love they are more inclined to get along. It's just natural and it keeps the dialogue flowing.
That's my best advice.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment