Posting here to see if anyone has some advice.
I have been married 21 years. My husband has always been the most loving man and father. We rarely fight. We have 3 children from ages 14-6.
In November I was blind sided to find out that my husband had been emailing a female employee of his. The emails were of general nature - just chit chat - for awhile. Then the emails turned sexual. I confronted him about it and he admitted to it. He insisted that it was just words. That it was a fantasy world and wasn't real. That it would stop. I jumped in whole heartedly to save my marriage. Became the perfect wife. Gave him everything I thought he needed. Including forgiveness. Though not trust..
At the end of December while checking his phone I found another email. Nothing sexual but definitely deceitful. I once again confronted him. I got mad. I insisted to see his work email and found more correspondence. The "I miss you's" "You know how I feel" "I see you everywhere I look" etc. Once again he insisted that he loves me and does not want to leave our marriage. I left at that point but only for a few days. The marriage was definitely strained at that point. He started looking for a new job to get away from this "girl" - 13 years younger - We were living together though very strained. He insisted it was completely over but had to communicate with her on work issues until he found a new job.
Three weeks later. I found another email. Nothing bad. Just something about a football game. However, he completely lied to me when he stated that they only conversed on work issues.
I kicked him out of the house...That is were we are now. Separated but not.. I still love the man and he states that he still loves me and wants our marriage. My counselor gave me the Love Must be Tough book. I am almost thru it but I am having difficulty applying it. I have told him that I can not live with him again until he has left his job and figured out why he keeps going back to this email thing. There has been no physical contact between them. I do believe this.
But we have 3 kids and have to communicate daily on activities etc. He is constantly texting me that he loves me, misses me etc. Pours his heart out to me in writing. I have no idea how to respond! Do I keep the spouse communciation going between us? He seems lost. I beleive he knows what he could lose and wants back in but I don't want to give in too soon. I did that two other times.
Any advice?
I have been married 21 years. My husband has always been the most loving man and father. We rarely fight. We have 3 children from ages 14-6.
In November I was blind sided to find out that my husband had been emailing a female employee of his. The emails were of general nature - just chit chat - for awhile. Then the emails turned sexual. I confronted him about it and he admitted to it. He insisted that it was just words. That it was a fantasy world and wasn't real. That it would stop. I jumped in whole heartedly to save my marriage. Became the perfect wife. Gave him everything I thought he needed. Including forgiveness. Though not trust..
At the end of December while checking his phone I found another email. Nothing sexual but definitely deceitful. I once again confronted him. I got mad. I insisted to see his work email and found more correspondence. The "I miss you's" "You know how I feel" "I see you everywhere I look" etc. Once again he insisted that he loves me and does not want to leave our marriage. I left at that point but only for a few days. The marriage was definitely strained at that point. He started looking for a new job to get away from this "girl" - 13 years younger - We were living together though very strained. He insisted it was completely over but had to communicate with her on work issues until he found a new job.
Three weeks later. I found another email. Nothing bad. Just something about a football game. However, he completely lied to me when he stated that they only conversed on work issues.
I kicked him out of the house...That is were we are now. Separated but not.. I still love the man and he states that he still loves me and wants our marriage. My counselor gave me the Love Must be Tough book. I am almost thru it but I am having difficulty applying it. I have told him that I can not live with him again until he has left his job and figured out why he keeps going back to this email thing. There has been no physical contact between them. I do believe this.
But we have 3 kids and have to communicate daily on activities etc. He is constantly texting me that he loves me, misses me etc. Pours his heart out to me in writing. I have no idea how to respond! Do I keep the spouse communciation going between us? He seems lost. I beleive he knows what he could lose and wants back in but I don't want to give in too soon. I did that two other times.
Any advice?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment