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Has sexting killed our relationship?

I don't know where to start. I've just come off a couple of unpleasant phone calls with my OH who's in our home country and was due to arrive here tonight. Up to just a few days back - Sunday/Monday in fact - we'd both felt more positive about our relationship than we have for years. We've struggled bigtime for a long time, I've posted on here if anyone wants to see any of the back story but it's definitely a long, painful one. But the main thing is that he'd tried being more positive, invited me to his new house (a big deal, I can assure you) - it all went really well. I was made to feel at home. We were loving. We went on holiday abroad together with our 12 year old son for the first time in ages. That went mostly well (I doubt we'll ever have a stress-free relationship).
So - great. Positive. Lots to plan, to look forward to. More work to be done, as always, to stop petty frictions messing things up but mainly good.
Or so I thought.
I inadvertently accessed his Facebook page (truly inadvertently...apparently the internet hung as he was logging off) so, thinking I was on my own page and seeing his name I looked with interest as we're not Facebook friends - I was told this was because a couple of the pages I administer produced loads of posts he didn't want clogging his timeline.
And found messages with not one but three women, all involving sexy flirtatious stuff and one of the totally sexual no holds barred nature. Two of the women he knows in real life.
So I spent ages copying and pasting so I could read exactly what, when, etc. And a couple of days back (sadly this was within hours of him having left me and gone to our home country) challenged him. He initially got a bit stroppy because I wasn't being clear what I was talking about but eventually accepted what I'd revealed and apart from being a bit unpleasant about accessing his page, admitted the whole thing. Now - two days later - we have talked, and shouted, got sidelined by his responses to some of the questions I've emailed him about things he said about me in his sexting, and right now he's refusing to come over to where I live with our son until 'a lot of water has gone under the bridge'. For myself I'm prepared to work to save our relationship because we'd come so far. But I don't think that's going to happen as easily if he refuses to come over and thus misses our son's sporting events, etc., which he will then blame me for as he has in our past when other em otional stuff has happened. I think talking about whether sex talk online is reality or not is something we can probably address; so is the women he knows in real life. But not unless he's here!
I know he finds stress hard, and right now he has chest pains so I have no option but to accept he may not be on tonight's already booked flight. But ...........omg................ thoughts anyone?

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