Hi,
First time post!
My wife and I have been together for over 8 years now - 4 of those in marriage. We have a 3 year old son who we adore.
As with most couples with a toddler, the intimacy in our marriage has gone downhill rapidly, however I think both of us appreciate the difficulties of raising a toddler can play havoc with that aspect.
My issue isn't with that however - it is more with my wife's appearance and how it has declined every since we initially moved in together - so about 6 years ago.
My wife has never been a fancy dresser - and i'm happy with that, she's got a curvy figure and i'm happy with that. However, when we first moved in I started to notice little things started slipping.
Namely, her waxing (leg/upper lip) - she basically started to take care of things less and less - so much so that I would start to notice the very obvious upper lip hair - I had previously never ever noticed when we were just dating.
It had got to the point where I had to actually say something as it was so obvious.
So this has basically been the cycle for the last few years - she doesn't take care of these treatments until I actually say something - and even then it's a really effort as she gets very defensive with comments like 'Well, you married a brunette' , 'it all costs money'.
It sounds all very trivial - but to me it's a deeper issue than that. It's part of her appearance, how she presents herself, how she feels about herself and our marriage, not to mention embarrassing when we meet friends and family.
By not bothering about these aspects, I get the feeling she doesn't really give a damn any more, is happy that she is just married and feels no desire to make any effort.
From my perspective, it is very demoralising - physically I don't find her attractive, I get frustrated that I have to be the one to raise the issue every 6-8 weeks. I have always tried to deal with it sensitively, even paying for other nicer treatments as an incentive but she never ever gets the message that I cannot stand how she leaves her upper lip hair to grow. It's unsightly, unfeminine...yet she just can't see this.
Am I being too selfish? Am I just being a total jerk? Or do I have some justification in wanting my wife to take some care of her appearance?
Thanks for reading.
First time post!
My wife and I have been together for over 8 years now - 4 of those in marriage. We have a 3 year old son who we adore.
As with most couples with a toddler, the intimacy in our marriage has gone downhill rapidly, however I think both of us appreciate the difficulties of raising a toddler can play havoc with that aspect.
My issue isn't with that however - it is more with my wife's appearance and how it has declined every since we initially moved in together - so about 6 years ago.
My wife has never been a fancy dresser - and i'm happy with that, she's got a curvy figure and i'm happy with that. However, when we first moved in I started to notice little things started slipping.
Namely, her waxing (leg/upper lip) - she basically started to take care of things less and less - so much so that I would start to notice the very obvious upper lip hair - I had previously never ever noticed when we were just dating.
It had got to the point where I had to actually say something as it was so obvious.
So this has basically been the cycle for the last few years - she doesn't take care of these treatments until I actually say something - and even then it's a really effort as she gets very defensive with comments like 'Well, you married a brunette' , 'it all costs money'.
It sounds all very trivial - but to me it's a deeper issue than that. It's part of her appearance, how she presents herself, how she feels about herself and our marriage, not to mention embarrassing when we meet friends and family.
By not bothering about these aspects, I get the feeling she doesn't really give a damn any more, is happy that she is just married and feels no desire to make any effort.
From my perspective, it is very demoralising - physically I don't find her attractive, I get frustrated that I have to be the one to raise the issue every 6-8 weeks. I have always tried to deal with it sensitively, even paying for other nicer treatments as an incentive but she never ever gets the message that I cannot stand how she leaves her upper lip hair to grow. It's unsightly, unfeminine...yet she just can't see this.
Am I being too selfish? Am I just being a total jerk? Or do I have some justification in wanting my wife to take some care of her appearance?
Thanks for reading.
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