So I've been teaching at university for a while now and tutoring for a much longer time… Some of my students have been quite faithful and have done everything to continue the course with me… there is this young couple I've been tutoring for two years and have gotten to know them deeply… they've been learning pretty well and have always thanked me in different shapes or forms like buying a christmas gift, birthday present or woman's day card…. the wife seems to be pretty conservative in the sense that she is very cautious of any female presence around her husband (who happens to be 7 years younger than her, yes the wife is older) but as I behave decently around married men, she trusts me fully to the point where she is asking her husband to ride me back home every week after our class. In the car, we've usually been talking about job problems, politics, society… and just sometimes he has been complaining about his wife to me, saying how 'authoritarian' she can be sometimes (which I have also noticed this during our weekly interaction)… however, every time I have tried to play neutral and suggesting by my silence that your marriage life issues does not interest me at all…
Now, they are experts in food administration and have been bringing me good organic food, for which I've been thankful and have paid.. a couple of months ago the husband called me on the teacher's day and told me whether I was home so he could bring a gift they had bought for me… he comes, gives me the gift and I thank him and ask him to pass my thanks to his wife… on the verge of leaving, he turns and says don't say anything to my wife please… I was just shocked as I was thinking this whole thing was organized by the two of them… and I went on to say I would not be happy to take this if your wife is not comfortable with it… the next week I realized he had talked about what he had given to me to his wife fearing I'd let her know (I would not though, since it may have damaged their relationship)… it just passed and we continued our course till just a few days ago, the husband knowing I am going to travel soon, is calling me saying I wish to bring you something (it is quite common in our culture to give a little gift to the traveller)… I'm like I would not want to put you in trouble, thanks… he comes anyway, gives me packages of nuts worth a considerable amount of money, I thank him and tell him I'll be calling your wife to thank her too, he turns and says don't call her, no need.
I'm just perplexed, I don't know of his intentions… mine are clear, I think I have set my boundaries but he doesn't seem to be getting it… I'm typically nice to people and would not want to hurt him by being harsh, but I don't know what to do or tell. And what are his intentions? I'd appreciate any suggestions/comments.
Now, they are experts in food administration and have been bringing me good organic food, for which I've been thankful and have paid.. a couple of months ago the husband called me on the teacher's day and told me whether I was home so he could bring a gift they had bought for me… he comes, gives me the gift and I thank him and ask him to pass my thanks to his wife… on the verge of leaving, he turns and says don't say anything to my wife please… I was just shocked as I was thinking this whole thing was organized by the two of them… and I went on to say I would not be happy to take this if your wife is not comfortable with it… the next week I realized he had talked about what he had given to me to his wife fearing I'd let her know (I would not though, since it may have damaged their relationship)… it just passed and we continued our course till just a few days ago, the husband knowing I am going to travel soon, is calling me saying I wish to bring you something (it is quite common in our culture to give a little gift to the traveller)… I'm like I would not want to put you in trouble, thanks… he comes anyway, gives me packages of nuts worth a considerable amount of money, I thank him and tell him I'll be calling your wife to thank her too, he turns and says don't call her, no need.
I'm just perplexed, I don't know of his intentions… mine are clear, I think I have set my boundaries but he doesn't seem to be getting it… I'm typically nice to people and would not want to hurt him by being harsh, but I don't know what to do or tell. And what are his intentions? I'd appreciate any suggestions/comments.
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