Hi all, I am new here.. found the forum while browsing around trying to figure out what to do. I have been married for almost 4 years.. we are pretty much happy day to day, we get along easy and great... it is only when we discuss big life changes that things seem unstable ($, house, kids, etc.).
Basically, my husband hates change and allthough he says he wants a house, kids, etc. when it comes down to doing it... he crumbles. I have given him time and space to grow.. but after 4 years I feel I am at a crossroads in this relationship. I don't know what to do, I feel I've tried everything. He just can't get it together. I have to face the fact that he is affecting me and I believe I was starting to become depressed because of it.
We have been looking at houses for over 2 years now and I'm realizing that the reason I don't feel good about it is because he doesn't make enough $ and I don't make enough to support the both of us. I do ok but not enough for two! I'm afraid if we get into a house, I will be stressed and frazzled trying to make ends meet. I don't want that type of lifestyle.
The reason I say I am at a crossroads is because I feel like if he had it together, I would be fine. If I had some financial support, I would be ok. I have given him time to grow and personally, my buisness continues to grow every year. I have saved $ and have planned for our future. He has done nothing. He is barely making a profit on his buisness. I wanted a house, kids, the whole thing but after being stalled by him the last 4 years I feel I no longer want those things. I am at a crossroads becuase I beleve in the vows I took but our lives are going in very different directions. I am ambitious, positive, and excited about our future. He is scared, negative, and dragging his feet. I know I can't change him... but I don't know what to do.
If he supported me in other ways, I would be ok but I do everything (make most of $, take care of the household, do all the planning, etc.).
I've tried counsiling, giving him responsilbilites, 'punishing' him, rewarding him, etc. NOTHING WORKS.
I know its long, haha, sorry but any help is greatly appreciated! :)
Basically, my husband hates change and allthough he says he wants a house, kids, etc. when it comes down to doing it... he crumbles. I have given him time and space to grow.. but after 4 years I feel I am at a crossroads in this relationship. I don't know what to do, I feel I've tried everything. He just can't get it together. I have to face the fact that he is affecting me and I believe I was starting to become depressed because of it.
We have been looking at houses for over 2 years now and I'm realizing that the reason I don't feel good about it is because he doesn't make enough $ and I don't make enough to support the both of us. I do ok but not enough for two! I'm afraid if we get into a house, I will be stressed and frazzled trying to make ends meet. I don't want that type of lifestyle.
The reason I say I am at a crossroads is because I feel like if he had it together, I would be fine. If I had some financial support, I would be ok. I have given him time to grow and personally, my buisness continues to grow every year. I have saved $ and have planned for our future. He has done nothing. He is barely making a profit on his buisness. I wanted a house, kids, the whole thing but after being stalled by him the last 4 years I feel I no longer want those things. I am at a crossroads becuase I beleve in the vows I took but our lives are going in very different directions. I am ambitious, positive, and excited about our future. He is scared, negative, and dragging his feet. I know I can't change him... but I don't know what to do.
If he supported me in other ways, I would be ok but I do everything (make most of $, take care of the household, do all the planning, etc.).
I've tried counsiling, giving him responsilbilites, 'punishing' him, rewarding him, etc. NOTHING WORKS.
I know its long, haha, sorry but any help is greatly appreciated! :)
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