Ever feel like you just can't cut it in the real world? That's how I'm feeling right now. I don't think I'm over-reacting - looking back on the last few years, and particularly last few months, this is what I've noticed:
- Those I thought were my good friends have slowly but surely drifted away, not wanting/bothering to keep contact. Two of my close friends have cancelled on meeting up with me this year more times than I count - most recent was getting a text today to cancel a meet up on tuesday. It honestly hurts now.
- Every time I open my mouth, I annoy someone and this includes my mum, dad, brother, friends .... this eventually leads to unpleasant words that I have to hear from them. I dare not say anything further in the event I make matters worse. This has totally destroyed what little confidence I had in sharing my views. I'm now struggling to even voice my opinion outside in a professional work environment.
- People at work totally disregard any of the abilities I have - I actually like what I do, but get little to no credit for it. The only thing people try to do is take advantage of my skills. When I've felt it's unethical to do their work for them, they turn against me. Someone openly said to me that they're jealous and will do anything to get where I am. I honestly don't set out to do this - I only work because I like it and I need to make a living. I really am not out to make anyone jealous.
- I can go on - feeling unwanted, not accepted by anyone really, lacking any real accomplishment .....
I'm not writing it to feel sad or so that other's take pity. I just needed somewhere to write a few things and get it off my chest. I try to keep going and wake up every morning with a positive attitude but I'm met with set back after set back - it's getting to me and feel like everywhere I turn, there's a road block.
Any how, thanks if you read this.
- Those I thought were my good friends have slowly but surely drifted away, not wanting/bothering to keep contact. Two of my close friends have cancelled on meeting up with me this year more times than I count - most recent was getting a text today to cancel a meet up on tuesday. It honestly hurts now.
- Every time I open my mouth, I annoy someone and this includes my mum, dad, brother, friends .... this eventually leads to unpleasant words that I have to hear from them. I dare not say anything further in the event I make matters worse. This has totally destroyed what little confidence I had in sharing my views. I'm now struggling to even voice my opinion outside in a professional work environment.
- People at work totally disregard any of the abilities I have - I actually like what I do, but get little to no credit for it. The only thing people try to do is take advantage of my skills. When I've felt it's unethical to do their work for them, they turn against me. Someone openly said to me that they're jealous and will do anything to get where I am. I honestly don't set out to do this - I only work because I like it and I need to make a living. I really am not out to make anyone jealous.
- I can go on - feeling unwanted, not accepted by anyone really, lacking any real accomplishment .....
I'm not writing it to feel sad or so that other's take pity. I just needed somewhere to write a few things and get it off my chest. I try to keep going and wake up every morning with a positive attitude but I'm met with set back after set back - it's getting to me and feel like everywhere I turn, there's a road block.
Any how, thanks if you read this.
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