I'm not quite sure where to begin, so I'll just start with where my situation is currently. I have been married to my wife for just over 7 years now and we have 4 children together with the oldest being 6. My wife is still talking with me and we are living with each other, but she is strongly considering leaving me for a guy that she has never met but she has talked to online and texted off and on for the last 12 years. I'm at a loss for where to go from here. I love her so much and I am throwing everything that I can at this marriage.
To be fair, I haven't always been the best. I have a lot of issues, dealing with selfishness, gluttony, and I used to sneak things behind her back a lot. We've had many ups and downs throughout the years and we've had fights before where she's left for a night and went to her moms, but she was back the next day. A couple of months ago she caught me sneaking downstairs at night and watching porn and masturbating. She was extremely upset and I thought she was going to leave me then. We made it through that, but a week and a half ago, i got upset at her and snipped at her in front of her family. She said that was the straw that broke the camels back and that she could never forgive me for it. I get that she is embarrassed and really hurt, and I sincerely apologized for it, but she still is not happy.
I started the day after it happened throwing myself 100% into doing the Love Dare and really completely throwing myself into changing for her and completing every task with my whole heart. I have tried this before, but I didn't do it wholeheartedly and i failed after about 2 weeks. I am now at day 10 and she knows that I am doing it and she sees me changing and sees the effort that I am putting in. But she just keeps saying that she doesn't know if I will ever be what she needs and that she thinks this guy might be. She has never met him before and she hasn't talked to him on the phone in at least over 10 years. She doesn't know if he is the right thing ever, but she might want to meet him. She said if she did, she wouldn't do it behind my back. I feel like if she would just shut him out and give us a chance, that it might work. I want to keep doing the love dare and I told her that I would. But I'm not sure what else I can do. I was back in bed sleeping next to her and there was some positive moments last week. Once she leaned over and kissed me and thanked me for trying. And two separate times we had intimate moments. But it seems to be regressing the harder I try and the more I throw myself into it. I love her and I don't want to lose her. The more days that go by, the more I think I'm going to lose her. Where do I go from here?
To be fair, I haven't always been the best. I have a lot of issues, dealing with selfishness, gluttony, and I used to sneak things behind her back a lot. We've had many ups and downs throughout the years and we've had fights before where she's left for a night and went to her moms, but she was back the next day. A couple of months ago she caught me sneaking downstairs at night and watching porn and masturbating. She was extremely upset and I thought she was going to leave me then. We made it through that, but a week and a half ago, i got upset at her and snipped at her in front of her family. She said that was the straw that broke the camels back and that she could never forgive me for it. I get that she is embarrassed and really hurt, and I sincerely apologized for it, but she still is not happy.
I started the day after it happened throwing myself 100% into doing the Love Dare and really completely throwing myself into changing for her and completing every task with my whole heart. I have tried this before, but I didn't do it wholeheartedly and i failed after about 2 weeks. I am now at day 10 and she knows that I am doing it and she sees me changing and sees the effort that I am putting in. But she just keeps saying that she doesn't know if I will ever be what she needs and that she thinks this guy might be. She has never met him before and she hasn't talked to him on the phone in at least over 10 years. She doesn't know if he is the right thing ever, but she might want to meet him. She said if she did, she wouldn't do it behind my back. I feel like if she would just shut him out and give us a chance, that it might work. I want to keep doing the love dare and I told her that I would. But I'm not sure what else I can do. I was back in bed sleeping next to her and there was some positive moments last week. Once she leaned over and kissed me and thanked me for trying. And two separate times we had intimate moments. But it seems to be regressing the harder I try and the more I throw myself into it. I love her and I don't want to lose her. The more days that go by, the more I think I'm going to lose her. Where do I go from here?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment