| Because I only have a few friends I really trust I need others opinions. My husband and I have been together for 6 years, We recently got married September 22nd 2012 so almost a year ago. We have a 3 year old daughter and a 17 month old son. I am also currently 38 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child. My husband has a 9 year old daughter from a previous marriage. In the beginning we struggled with this because they divorced on bad terms and she used his daughter a lot to get back at him. We eventually got through it and since she lives in Minnesota we get his daughter every summer and Christmas. When my husband and I started dating I was 17 year old and he was 22 years old. At the time he was smoking weed and for a 17 year old it didn't really bother me. After a while I started to disapprove of it because I felt it was time for him to become a man. He told me he could quit no problem. So he did. Well I have caught him twice within our 6 years still smoking. The last time I caught him he came clean and said he lied to me the whole time and that he never stopped. So he has been lying to me for 6 years about smoking weed. So that also means he was lying about where the money was going or where he was going sometimes when he went to get it. Now I have another lie I came across recently. My husband has always agreed that he felt the same way I did when it came to porn and men watching it by themselves jacking off. This is something I find disgusting and can not put up with. It brings my confidence level waay down and I don't want to live my life feeling like I wa sn't enough. In the beginning of our relation he already tried to change my eating habits and said he was used to dating "smaller" people. Anyway, one day he took my phone to work and because he didn't know how to use it he left the sites he was looking at on my phone. The sites I found was porn sites. I then got curious and looked through his phone where I found more porn sites. Of course he lied and said someone else did it and even got upset at me for blaming him. He went so far as to tell me he would find out who has been using him phone by watching the cameras in the building. Every now and then I would get an update on who he thought it was. I finally got him to admit that it was him. However I was still under the impression that it was just a couple of times. Well last night I brought it back up and got him in another lie about how often he was doing it. He told me he has always done it and just deleted his history so I could never find it. He did it a lot more when he used to work 3rd shift than he does now since he is back on 1st shift. I haven't been able to touch him since I found out the lies. No sex, I am always mean, and I feel like I am falling into a depression. I know that I am pregnant and have crazy hormones right now but I have no trust for my husband and I am scared its not going to come back this time. He says he will do anything to make it better but our relationship had been though so much I'm afraid I'm just going to continue to be unhappy. Ive told him hes just not the person he said he was and we are completely different people. I said once the baby was born that I wanted a divorce. Ive always said I never wanted to be that person and I cry everyday when I think about my poor kids having to go through it. My son is a HUGE daddys boy and I just want a happy family but I feel like my husband is not the one I fell in love with. Am I making a big deal over nothing?? Help! | |||
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