Is my wife depressed?

Hello, looking for some help or similar experiences. I don't want to make this too long, but I need to give some background: My wife and I have been married 9 years, together for 12. We have 3 children. I work, she is a stay at home mother who also babysits other children from our house. A few months ago, she started going out a lot to bars. And she started going to very late, sometimes closing bars in during the week. She had never done this before. She said, she just had ants in her pants, was tired of being home all day, and had fun going out. A few times, she didn't even come home and crashed at a friends house and came home in the morning before kids woke up. We had some arguments, we went to 2 sessions with a marriage counselor, and things were better for a while. But she eventually started breaking our "agreement" we had by staying out later than what we agreed to. She started helping friends with relationship issues, going way out of her way to meet them out to talk, pick them up from a bar and and take them home. She was acting very selfishly, saying "I just want to do what I want to do." So we started having arguments again. She also has been getting irritated with babysitting. She is adopted, had a bad childhood (no physical abuse, just mental) and doesn't talk to her family, but just found out her adoption mother has cancer. She also had a bad argument with her uncle and cousin, and her cousin told her to "F off", which made her cry. Overall, in the past few months, she has made unhealthy choices which has effected both me and the children. At Easter, my sister and my mother both pulled me aside and said "What is wrong with her? She looks depressed". She did feel like something was wrong with her, and fer feelings had changed. So she started seeing a therapist. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. We would still argue about stuff at night, and she started leaving the house, saying I need to go drive for a while to think about stuff, or go to a bar. Sometimes she would come home, sometimes she wouldn't. At one point, she said, "I am a terrible mother and wife, please don't leave me". Then some nights she would say "I know we are arguing, but we are going to be together forever". Then a few weeks ago, she snapped and left the house one night and wanted to sleep at a friends house. She has been sleeping at this same friends house every night for over 2 weeks now. She comes home in the morning, takes care of the kids and babysitting, cooks dinner, and after the kids to to bed, she leaves and sleeps at her friends, leaving me home alone. She can't explain what happened, she said something just snapped and she had to leave. She says she loves me, she cares about me, and she wants to get those old feelings back, but right now they are not enough to come home. She thought staying at friends house would make those feelings come back, but so far, it hasn't changed. She still talks to me, hugs me, sometimes kisses me. Some mornings she comes home and lays on my side of the bed and smells my pillow. A couple times she's came into the bedroom and cried. She has gone to a therapist 5 times. So far, he said you may have long term depression, then he says you may have situational depression, then he says last time you have signs of depression but not enough to warrant medication. Last night she mentioned a "trial separation", because maybe what we are doing now isn't enough for her to really know what it's like without me. But we don't want to do that yet. We are now trying to get in to see a psychiatrist to get a professional's opinion. Everyone in my family thinks she needs medication. Any advice or help is appreciated.

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