I will see if I can keep this short...ive been married to my husband 8 years, we have been together 12, we have 2 small children 7 and 3. Haven't had the most perfect marriage but I was sure we loved each other. About 6 months ago he started coming home at 5 in the morning on a constant basis...which is not ok, i figured he was cheating so I kicked him out, shortly after that I found proof that he was with a girl he works with who is 12 years younger than us. He still wont admit to it, won't move back in, won't stabilize his life and get himself a place to live. He is basically staying with her and won't admit it...knowing he is with someone else gets a bit easier everyday but i get stuck bc he continues to lie about her. I cannot get him to sign a legal separation agreement...I feel the doc is super fair, he even said that at one point...basically it says his debt is his and mine is mine, that he will pay half the house payment (which he is doing anyway) and that I have sole physical custody of the kids and the house, which i already do. That pissed him off but I told him if he doesn't have a place to live then he has nowhere to bring the kids so that is the way it has to be. Anyway I feel like I have been living in the twilight zone... he uses the house as a pit stop to do laundry and store some of his work gear. Will sleep here occasionally but is never very helpful with the kids when he does. When he is here for some reason I try to get him to admit to this girl but he won't. I feel like i would be able to move on if I heard him admit to her. I feel like I would be able to separate myself more emotionally if he would sign this legal separation document. He refuses to do either. I have given up hope of him ever coming back and not sure I would even want him to, he is basically a stranger at this point...it is almost like having a teenage kid who graduated from high school got a job and chooses to work and party and hang out with his girlfriend all the time...only coming home to grab food do laundry and sleep!! I am not his mom!! really i want to know if anyone has any advice on how to get him to sign the document and anything to help me to get him to stop coming to the house? we both own it and he feels like since he still pays he has the right to come and go as he pleases...the separation doc says that he can't do that which is one reason he won't sign...but I think that is fair...if he doesn't want to be here then he shouldn't come around. Also,I feel like he is keeping me stuck, if he doesn't want to be in the family FINE but why does his midlife crisis have to be so dramatic that he won't let me move on! I know I don't need him to help but without answers I feel trapped, like I will never trust again...after 12 years you think you would know a person pretty well..his father passed away a year ago and he is been spiraling out of control ever since. anyway i hope this post made sense and any advice would be helpful | |||
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need advice - turns out my husband is a d-bag
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