Work Vacations

Hello... I have a huge issue in my marriage that I am hoping will get me some insight from other married couples who will give me their honest opinions... I am a happily married man to my wife of 13 years (been together for almost 18)... we rarely argue and when we do it's quickly resolved. However, we've had a recurring issue that comes up over and over and never gets resolved. It's probably our most heated topic in our marriage. I am a professional salesperson and I have been a top performer at my company since before we were married. I have worked for 3 different companies in this time and each of my companies offers a sales incentive trip each year I meet and exceed my goals. Before we were married, I brought my wife with me to places such as Hawaii, Costa Rica and Mexico. Then we started our family... when my daughter was 9 months old, 11 years ago, it was the first year my wife couldn't make it on the incentive trip. Instead I took a buddy of mine (who my wife approves of) to St. Thomas. It turned out that my wife didn't take it well and felt left out. I explained that the trips give me the recognition and job well done in front of my peers that I feel I deserve. (She wonders where her recognition is as a stay and home mom) The trips are always in January or February and we don't have a babysitter. Since then, I have traveled to Florida, Mexico & two Caribbean cruises without her. Most recently was Cancun and it was all out war - she doesn't think I should go (or want to go) on these kids of trips without her. I explain to her they are corporate trips (even though there is no work or meetings involved and not "required") and I must go or my boss may feel I am ungrateful for the opportunity. And especially when I am Salesperson of the Year, I feel I must attend. But she is completely miserable for the weeks leading up to it and while I am gone I can tell she is very upset. It also bothers her that I don't particularly like anyone I work with so it's hard for her to understand why I would want to go with them and leave her home. She says the time of year is even worse because it's often zero degrees and I am in a tropical location. In the past 11 years, she was able to come on 2 other trips, when we did have childcare. I told her she could plan a family trip all o f us could go on, her choice - isn't this enough? Or am I wrong to leave her behind and go with a buddy?

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