What's Wrong with You: Your a 40+ Married Man with 2 Kids

I sent my wife an email asking her how she would feel about me going out tonight by myself or with a male friend after we get the kids off off to sleep. I told her I was thinking about doing something involving listening to music, dancing, karaoke. She called me and said asked if I was trying to do harm to our marriage. She said that I am a married man with two small children. That I just can't play it by ear on a whim and decided to go out. That I was not a bachelor in my 20's. That week nights were not good for bar hopping. She said maybe you can go to a movie or to dinner with a friend. She said going out by myself would send the wrong message. And that people do that when there looking to meet someone. That maybe I could go out on the weekend if I want to go to a bar with a male or some male friends as a group. She told me that she only goes out a couple times of year with friends/theatre friends (male and female) to activities like karaoke where there is drinking involved. She said don't you'd think I'd like to go out and have more fun? What kind of message would that send if she went out by herself and how would I feel about it. She said that's not were we are in our lives. She said, "where are you even getting these ideas from?". Maybe you need a new therapist? She said that maybe she needed to talk to my therapist. I said that the idea was mine and did not come from my therapist or anyone else. I said she was welcome to come along to my appointment(s) and listen or participate to the extent she'd like to. I told her that I am just trying to be happier and explore new things. I am trying to make our marriage a better one. She said explore something else rather than going to bars and the types of people you'll meet there. She said that her volunteer/fun activity is work and doesn't involve drinking alchohol, and that she is hoping that it will lead to a paying job. That there isn't alchohol etc. etc. there in her activity. That she spends all day without much adult interaction as a stay at home home :scratchhead:seeing to the house and children and that it was her outlet. I told her that if she wanted to go out by herself that I trusted her. I told her I decided that I wouldn't go out tonight. Maybe some other time. I didn't lose my cool and maintained my composure throughout the conversation. What do you make of all this? To what extent do you agree with my wife or not? What's going through her mind? Doesn't this seem a bit controlling? Playing Monday night quarterback how do you think I might have better handled the situation. Thanks.

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