| I am a junior in college, and i don't really know how i find this website but i am sure i can get much better advice on here. Anyhow here is the situation I have been really good friends with this girl since my senior year of high school. We used to be extremely close, and she liked me and admitted to liking me before i ever liked her. At first i did not like her, then i started to and once i found out she liked me i started to talk to her more. We started talking a lot on the phone, and i started to fall for her because i loved her personality. Anyways our thing which i guess you could refer to as an "emotional relationship" continued for all of senior year. She was extremely conservative and nervous around boys, so because of that we never did anything physical. She was always so nervous and in addition her friends told her to not date me. Despite this we enjoyed talking to each other all the time, and we admitted to liking and being attracted to each other. One day this pissed me off, and i told her, and she said she is sorry, and said since we are going to different colleges (6 hours apart) its best if we just let it die. So it was hard for me, but i got over and but we decided to remain friends. Anyways we no longer talked everyday several times a day, or on the phone for hours at night like we used to, but we remained friends. During freshman year of college we stood in contact but it was not really often. During the end of her freshman year she got her first real boyfriend, during this time and before i had been seeing other girls. Anyhow she seem like a really good pair, and at first i was slightly jealous but than i was more so happy for her than anything. This girl had always meant a lot to me and while at first i wish we could of had something physical, i realized the world is not fair and that's not how things work. I came to the conclusion as long as she is happy i am happy for her. So during sophomore year of college we talked a lot more, and hung out when we could only difference is because of financial costs of the college i went to i ended up transferring to a college, that happ ens to be only 45 minutes away from the college she goes to. Even though we do not live far apart we did not hang out in person a lot, we mostly skyped and texted. Anyhow we hung out over summer, and talked like we always did. This past semester we contacted each other much more than past semesters and we hung out a lot more, than we had done in all of college. Anyhow here is the issue i hung out with her Friday night and she was drunk and everything came out. I was at her school, at a party but did not tell her i was there. She found out through her friend, that (my fraternity chapter) was at her school tonight. So she goes to our party house trying to find me but cannot, cause i was gone. She starts texting me, eventually i go find her and we hang out. Anyhow everything comes out now, she tells me the only reason she went to that party was because she wanted to run into me. (she went to the party before she even got drunk), we meet up and she is drunk, we start talking and she then starts to cry, and pours out her heart. She tells me that for the past 3 years, she has liked always liked me. She tells me and is crying saying how sorry she is for never allowing us to get physical in our "past relationship". She say's she regrets that so much and that i am such an amazing, great, passionate guy, she tells me she still remembers all the nice things i did for her, like get a valentine, birthday gifts, and writing her sweet notes, along with giving her cards when she was feeling sad. She told me she constantly reads one of my facebook messages i sent her (about a year ago). The message i sent was very long and very sweet, asking about how she has been and saying i miss hearing from my friend (all that jazz). She told me she reads that message all the time, and she cries everyday because of "stress". She also tells me that she does not know what she wants in life (in regards to her boyfriend), she tells me she can't understand him, and its not what she expected, she tells me i am so much different b ecause i am "passionate about things". She tells me how bad she wished she kissed me in the past (when i tried to kiss her or makeout but she denied), she say's it was because she was so nervous, and scared id break her heart if we ever really started to date. She gave me all the reasons on why she was afraid to officially date, ranging from her nervousness, her fears, her friends, and the fact it was our senior year and we were going to be moving far away from each other. She mentioned several times we hung out in the past, in which she wished so badly she had kissed me. ... She asked me about where do i see myself in the future, and about future relationships i might have, so i told her and she cried more saying i am such a great guy and that i will get all that i want. She asked me "if my dream girl" is different or at all similar to her, i told her that my "dream girl" is no different than her at all. I said "my dream girl would honestly be a lot like you or identical, you have such great attributes, and a wonderful personality, i could not imagine being with someone who did not have your positive traits". She later asked me if i still liked her, and i said "no, well i don't know its complicated", i asked her if she still like d me and she said "i don't know, maybe, i think so".. She later said she "i do like you"... She also told me she used to think she was in love with from the first time she saw me. So yesterday i text her about it telling her id like to talk to her about our night. She said, she could not because she is really busy, i said "please". So we are texting about it (since we cant talk on the phone at this point". She tells me that she does not "remember anything" and that she is sorry if she made me feel awkward, and that she "did not mean anything", she was "drunk" and that i am "just a friend" and that she "is still in love with her boyfriend"... She asked me if we could forget about it, and she would rather not talk about it at this point.. I did not like that answer and i said "Look that's not right, i want to talk about this, and i think i deserve that, you said a lot".. She did not respond How do i handle this? First of all i don't believe that "she does not remember anything" she was not that drunk, and she also sobered up a lot during the 3-4 hours we talked. Second they always say that Drunk people speak the truth.. Third she was so descriptive, so emotional, so detailed about her feelings, and about "our past" and about our past encounters, she was so detailed about what we were wearing, and about everything we did before. She was so detailed about all the nice things i did for her, and so emotional as well. Fourth, seeing that she was so "truthful" and detailed about everything, i have a hard time believing that she "really loves her boyfriend". Here is the thing i have always had a part of me that has liked her, and i think now its quite obvious that she has always liked me or had a part of her that likes me. However, while i would love to date her i do not think now is the right time. I feel a relationship between us would be better in the future when we are more mature, and when she is no longer dating this guy. I would date her now, but she would have to obviously leave that guy. I don't want to pressure her to leave this guy, because i am fine not dating her right now (and am talking to other girls). But part of me (since she told me all of this) really wishes we could be something. I hope/imagine one day we will date/be together, i just fear that it may never happen. So what is she feeling? Do you think we could ever be something now? or in the future? How can she possibly have loved me/deeply valued me all of these years , but not have told me? How could she possibly be so into me as to remember, and constantly read my old/messages/notes to her, but not tell me? Do i pressure her some more to try and talk about the night, or do i forget about it? Do i just continue being her friend, but not around as much (like i have been doing) knowing, that she still likes me in many ways, and just waiting for the "right time"? | |||
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