| Hi - I am new and saw this board and thought I might post in case anyone had any thoughts and help for me. Thanks in advance. I am a 56 year old woman and I have been living with my fiance for the past three years and in the relationship for five years. We are both divorced and have adult children. I have always felt a kind of space between us and I wanted to get married. I told him this last year and he initially wasn't for it, but he decided we could get engaged and then he said ok to get married. I feel that it is important to be married if he wants me to interact and be part of the family also. He wants me to attend all the family events with him. He wants me to be happy and he doesn't want to lose me so he agreed. We have told everyone and will be having a wedding. I have always felt a bit insecure about being a girlfriend especially around his family. I'm not sure why I have a hard time interacting with his family, and I feel les s than adequate. I am a professional and have friends and family who love me. Next month his daughter is getting married in another state and we will be attending the wedding and other pertinant events. For alot of reasons, and I am trying to work on and analyze myself I am dreading the wedding. I would rather not go and that is probably not a good attitude. Its not as much his daughter as I know she will be busy at the wedding and he will be doing his father things. My fiance saw the invitations and asked his daughter to include me on the invitations with our married name even if it is 2 months before our wedding because his daughter was going to put the exwife and her husbands name on the invitation and the next line just my fiance, he said our feelings would be hurt. She is not close to the step father and he actually broke up the marriage or was part of the cause of the breakup in a way. I love that my fiance thought that I should be included as he already knew t hat I was feeling left out of the family cause we weren't married. I told him that if we aren't married thats how people think of us. I am insecure in alot of ways and was in an abusive marriage for many years. My fiance is very particular and likes things a certain way, I know this about him and alot of time I try not to let it hurt me , I just know its him not me. Its probably me and not them but how to fix it. His family (siblings) are very into family pictures also and have them up all over the wall, including the pictures with his exwife in them, I feel hurt and bit uncomfortable about it. I dwell too much on these negative thoughts and it is bad for my overall health. How do I turn this around and how can I be ok with this whole event and weekend. I am trying to tell myself that he loves me and wants me to be with him at the event and I am his wife to be. |
No comments:
Post a Comment