Relieved that I no longer have to have sex

My boyfriend of 9 years made the decision that he will no longer ask or initiate sex. He said we can engage if I ask for it, I feel very relieved by this. I am not a HD person, I am not sure I ever really was. In the beginning we had a lot of sex, but we were horny teenagers, 2 kids later we are down to about 3-4 times a month. I would be happy with once a month. He wants it about 5 times a week. The only reason why it is 3-4 times a month and not less, is becasue I want to keep the peace. He says that he doesn't even enjoy it anymore because he knows that I am noy enjoying it. I tell him that even though I don't need it as often as him, I do it becasue I know he wants it. That is not good enough for him. He says he wants me to want it, well I don't, and I can't make myself want it. I know it is not fair to him, my focus is on the kids and not on him anymore. I told him I would be ok with him getting a girlfriend on the side. Though he does have someone in mind, he hasn't taken me up on the offer. Unfortunatly for him that someone is an 18 year old college student who recently moved 4 hours a way to attend school. So he probably won't have much luck with her. People talk all the time about how sex is this emotional, spiritual, magical connection between two people. I must be wired wrong. When I have sex with him, I don't get all warm and fuzzy inside, I don't feel closer to him, in fact the opposite is true. I get more and more angry and more and more bitter. The resentment grows a little more each time. :confused: Our lease is ending in 4 months so we need to figure out if we will continue to live together or move into 2 seperate places. I just don't kow what to do.

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