HD and LD marriage: How to avoid, how to enjoy it and how to get out

Dear distinguished TAM Forum members, Therefore, I made this thread to discuss about three important topics about HD and LD Marriage. First: How to avoid HD and LD marriage . I believe many active Forum members here has emphasized the massive importance of sexual compatibilities of married couple. HD and LD marriage is to be avoided, that's the general consensus. Therefore, let's discuss how to avoid such marriage to take place at the first place. How HD and LD could discover the level of their own drives and be honest about it to their partner before marriage. In regards to Bait and Switch, which is often brought up in discussions involving HD and LD marriage, a definition is needed. I humbly suggest that Mr. Thundarr sums it up very well in his definition of Bait and Switch below, which I'd like to use: Quote: Bait and switch gets mixed up with plenty of other things Switch: - changing who you are to snag a partner. Expectations: - differing expectations where man and woman have a differing picture of marriage. Naivety: - Believing the fairytales. Happily ever after. Life: - Kids, illness. Clear cut bait and switch is easy to spot and there's not solution to it. It's just fraud. Someone loses weight gets married gains it back. Someone maintains employment gets married then quits working. Someone acts like they're HD gets married then instant LD. Second: If, for whatever reason, the HD and LD marriage already happened, how both sides could make an effort to enjoy the marriage? Certainly this is not easy, as many in this forum could testify from their own unpleasantly sad personal experiences. But there are people who think that this is _workable_ and _achievable_. We'd like to hear from these people, and what advice they offer to help balance HD needs of sex with LD's need of independence. Third: How to terminate HD and LD marriage on grounds of sexual incompatibility? We need people with legal backgrounds to describe the process on how HD partner could ask for a divorce (or even nullification) of the marriage on grounds of LD chronic refusal of sex, or LD partner could ask for a divorce on grounds of HD chronic disrespect for LD's rights to his/her own body. We also need people with backgrounds in psychology or counselling to describe what should be done by HD and LD people to get over their unpleasant marriage experience and start a new life. Finally, let me put down some clarifications to ensure a good discussion. (1) This is a _GENERAL_ discussion about sex in marriage, not to solve a specific problem experienced by a specific person/couple. Do not feel too personal about this particular thread. I find that some people here got hurt so badly by their experiences, that they see all men as their bad husbands/all women as their bad wives. I assure these people that this thread is generally speaking, and not about _them_. (2) Try to have a balanced perspective. Many distinguished members here are very balanced and equal, they uphold the rights of LD persons to their own body, but also consider chronic rejection by LD as very disrespectful and unhealthy for the marriage. This kind balanced perspective is what we'd like to have in this thread. Mrs. Lyris, Mr. Jaquen, Mr. Kingsfan, Mr. Thundarr, Mrs. Created2Write, Miss LB, Mr. Cletus, Mrs. EleGirl, Mrs. SimplyAmorous, and other good Forum members whom are active in LD vs HD discussions, I'd love to hear your contributions! Let the discussions begin!

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