I am posting a new thread as my prior kind of went off base about some legalities etc. I am interested to hear the prospective from cheating spouses. here is the rundown:
were mid 40s married 15yrs, 4 kids 2@10, 1-6, 1-5
W had EA turend Pa with business partner.
discovery in Early Jan
EA - solidified by massive texting avg 120-150 per day for over 1 year
OP, engaged, got married shortly after my Discovery (did not expose to fiance then)
Since then, Went from Divorce to attemt to R, tried counseling, chasing, being nice being mean, trying to talk rationally. W became OM' supervisor recently at work, No transparency or attempts to rebuild trust on her end really ever. just Rug sweeping. An arguement led to my current state which is from me, a total withdrawl (180), still civil, avoid her as much as possible, do some family things together, not attempting to kiss, sex, say I love all that. This has been for almost 2 months.
I expolsed affair to OM's W ,mom, dad and brother last week, I am Ready to file for D next week, went for STD tests yesterday to make sure with the intention to move on.
Facts are that I at one time loved this woman. We had a marriage in distress (kids, bills, im a **** sometimes etc) Ill own that part... There are issues behind all this and we have a beautiful family but her lack of action has made me believe its gone gone gone. Were friently roomates and Im about shot here......
my other post is : "for those that have weathered the storm, please for my family" it is still an active thread. but went on for pages about recording and legalities etc which went way off topic.....(I would like to applaud everyone for taking their time to help out people like me, the tough love and support and real outlooks have been very helpful and I will definately pay it forward)
would love to hear from some cheaters. What did it take to wake up what did it take to hit the switch. Im really not looking for a magic solution, but once I file I wont back down and want to be sure Ive done what I can on my end and I know that I have not and I have 4 little boys to think about in this.......
were mid 40s married 15yrs, 4 kids 2@10, 1-6, 1-5
W had EA turend Pa with business partner.
discovery in Early Jan
EA - solidified by massive texting avg 120-150 per day for over 1 year
OP, engaged, got married shortly after my Discovery (did not expose to fiance then)
Since then, Went from Divorce to attemt to R, tried counseling, chasing, being nice being mean, trying to talk rationally. W became OM' supervisor recently at work, No transparency or attempts to rebuild trust on her end really ever. just Rug sweeping. An arguement led to my current state which is from me, a total withdrawl (180), still civil, avoid her as much as possible, do some family things together, not attempting to kiss, sex, say I love all that. This has been for almost 2 months.
I expolsed affair to OM's W ,mom, dad and brother last week, I am Ready to file for D next week, went for STD tests yesterday to make sure with the intention to move on.
Facts are that I at one time loved this woman. We had a marriage in distress (kids, bills, im a **** sometimes etc) Ill own that part... There are issues behind all this and we have a beautiful family but her lack of action has made me believe its gone gone gone. Were friently roomates and Im about shot here......
my other post is : "for those that have weathered the storm, please for my family" it is still an active thread. but went on for pages about recording and legalities etc which went way off topic.....(I would like to applaud everyone for taking their time to help out people like me, the tough love and support and real outlooks have been very helpful and I will definately pay it forward)
would love to hear from some cheaters. What did it take to wake up what did it take to hit the switch. Im really not looking for a magic solution, but once I file I wont back down and want to be sure Ive done what I can on my end and I know that I have not and I have 4 little boys to think about in this.......
Put the internet to work for you.
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