Short background; together 8 yrs, married 7 this month. Problems started yrs ago and husband refused to see a counselor. This time he said ok, as a last resort. Being as this is our last resort, I know we face many more difficult challenges than had we gone earlier. But he agreed, that was step one. On top of that, upon my asking, we both mutually agreed that if the counselor just didn't sit right with EITHER one of us, each could opt to find another. I didn't want either of us to feel uncomfortable with counseling, so it's only fair right?
1st session is more of a meet and greet, ppwrk yadayada. The C (counselor), said this was not one on one, she would address the marriage and not us individually, and she was "to the point", which I felt was along my/our way of thinking/dealing. After this first session we discussed when home how eachother felt (albeit briefly, as we don't talk much anymore). We seemed to agree that once was not enough to form an opinion.
*I admit on here that I felt a bit uncomfortable, and did tear up during our session. This whole mess has me a bit emotional and I sorta felt embarrassed*
Session 2, started to feel my husband was getting more talk time and I was for lack of a better work, feeling a bit picked on. I teared up in this session too, it's only stress. Intamacy was brought up as I had asked my husband during the last week for at least some sex (we have differing opinions on our probs there)...so the assignment for the week was to spend 15 mins or more just being close, even if just holding hands, and full on sex was ok too if we both wanted it). So later, our scheduled time together was 2 hrs early since my husband just came out and said, do you just want to here sex now? So I said yeah, give me 15 mins and I'm there. After sex, he just got dressed and went about his night. I felt used, and just not good afterwards.
Is this how counseling is going to go? We don't get along any better, the talking is worse or nil...and I admit I AM the one who asked for at least that...but in the end I felt like it was a cop out. No reason to sit uncomfortably holding hands for 15 mins, just a quick and see ya.
I need some advice for my 3rd session please. If I need to expand on the situation I can do that as well. I just need to know if we shouldn't have had some good communication tools as well as the wham, bam, thank you mam (w/o a thank you, so yeah).
Thx for anything at all at this point.
1st session is more of a meet and greet, ppwrk yadayada. The C (counselor), said this was not one on one, she would address the marriage and not us individually, and she was "to the point", which I felt was along my/our way of thinking/dealing. After this first session we discussed when home how eachother felt (albeit briefly, as we don't talk much anymore). We seemed to agree that once was not enough to form an opinion.
*I admit on here that I felt a bit uncomfortable, and did tear up during our session. This whole mess has me a bit emotional and I sorta felt embarrassed*
Session 2, started to feel my husband was getting more talk time and I was for lack of a better work, feeling a bit picked on. I teared up in this session too, it's only stress. Intamacy was brought up as I had asked my husband during the last week for at least some sex (we have differing opinions on our probs there)...so the assignment for the week was to spend 15 mins or more just being close, even if just holding hands, and full on sex was ok too if we both wanted it). So later, our scheduled time together was 2 hrs early since my husband just came out and said, do you just want to here sex now? So I said yeah, give me 15 mins and I'm there. After sex, he just got dressed and went about his night. I felt used, and just not good afterwards.
Is this how counseling is going to go? We don't get along any better, the talking is worse or nil...and I admit I AM the one who asked for at least that...but in the end I felt like it was a cop out. No reason to sit uncomfortably holding hands for 15 mins, just a quick and see ya.
I need some advice for my 3rd session please. If I need to expand on the situation I can do that as well. I just need to know if we shouldn't have had some good communication tools as well as the wham, bam, thank you mam (w/o a thank you, so yeah).
Thx for anything at all at this point.
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