Hello All,
Wow, just wow. Where to begin? In Dec 2012 I found out that my H was having an A. I'm not sure how to classify it - there was phone sex, emotional conversations, etc. I have never been able to prove whether an actual physical act took place and it was long distance. At any rate, it had been going on for about 2 years. Needless to say, I was devastated. We had 3 children (one of which was 6 months old). I confronted him, and he swore it would never happen again. We went through a very difficult year of MC (at my demand, he wanted to rug sweep), boundaries, etc.
Most of the year was a false R as he resisted transparency and basically was more worried about the damage to his reputation with others than the damage to our relationship. I had threatened divorce and even went to a lawyer, kicked him out for a while, etc. By the end of 2013 I honestly thought that he made a breakthrough. He was showing remorse, transparency, etc. We moved (we are military) to an overseas duty station and I thought were in a much better place.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. I went to make a call on his phone (he can get free long distance on his work phone), began dialing the first few digits of the number I wanted, and the number of the OW came up in his phone. I checked the call records and there was a call from her lasting 48 minutes (while I was back in the US visiting family) and another missed call from May.
I am stunned. I was very clear that I would not tolerate this ever happening again. I have not confronted him and honestly do not know from a logistical standpoint how to handle this (being overseas).
The funny thing is that he has been treating me so well. Things have been great. Part of me wants to believe that it was a few calls just he made out of curiousity and that he regrets doing it. But I know that I am fooling myself to believe this. There must have been many emails exchanged before the call.
Any advice?
Wow, just wow. Where to begin? In Dec 2012 I found out that my H was having an A. I'm not sure how to classify it - there was phone sex, emotional conversations, etc. I have never been able to prove whether an actual physical act took place and it was long distance. At any rate, it had been going on for about 2 years. Needless to say, I was devastated. We had 3 children (one of which was 6 months old). I confronted him, and he swore it would never happen again. We went through a very difficult year of MC (at my demand, he wanted to rug sweep), boundaries, etc.
Most of the year was a false R as he resisted transparency and basically was more worried about the damage to his reputation with others than the damage to our relationship. I had threatened divorce and even went to a lawyer, kicked him out for a while, etc. By the end of 2013 I honestly thought that he made a breakthrough. He was showing remorse, transparency, etc. We moved (we are military) to an overseas duty station and I thought were in a much better place.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. I went to make a call on his phone (he can get free long distance on his work phone), began dialing the first few digits of the number I wanted, and the number of the OW came up in his phone. I checked the call records and there was a call from her lasting 48 minutes (while I was back in the US visiting family) and another missed call from May.
I am stunned. I was very clear that I would not tolerate this ever happening again. I have not confronted him and honestly do not know from a logistical standpoint how to handle this (being overseas).
The funny thing is that he has been treating me so well. Things have been great. Part of me wants to believe that it was a few calls just he made out of curiousity and that he regrets doing it. But I know that I am fooling myself to believe this. There must have been many emails exchanged before the call.
Any advice?
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