Ok, so I'm a 19 year old guy, I've never been in a relationship and I've had feelings about a friend of mine for a while now. We get on well together and despite the fact that we don't see each other as often as we used to because we are at uni, we always stay in contact and pick up where we left off when we do get back together. She is an unbelievable person and has a really infectious personality that means she can get along with anyone. She knows that I am also bisexual, and she has always joked that she wishes I was just gay. I've never said anything to her because she's been in a relationship and I haven't really had the confidence to do so.
Anyway, we were at a festival last night. She had originally bought tickets to go with her ex-boyfriend and was planning on selling her ticket. Knowing that she would regret it, I asked her to join me and the people that I was going with (mostly cousins), and she did. We had an absolutely amazing time and everyone loved her. She was a bit tipsy when a random guy kissed her, and the danced on. The guy was our age but he started trying to lead her away from the group so she left him. He persisted so the group I was with intervened and told him to do one because she'd had enough. We continued to dance and have a great time (she had sobered up at this point) and it was then that I told her how I felt.
It just felt like the right time, we were talking about the guy that kissed her and she was saying that she needed it for her confidence as she is really and genuinely insecure about her looks. So I told her that I had something to get off my chest and that I liked her as more than just a friend. I'm not sure how this went down because she just smiled and hugged me then told me "I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship. Why do you think I've always wanted you to be gay".
I know that this is probably a polite way of her telling me I'm not attracted to you in that way, and if that is the case I completely understand as I know I'm not the best looking person. But it is just confusing me, especially the "why do you think I've always wanted you to be gay part".
I know that may be a bit difficult to keep up with, but honestly, any advice or suggestion would be greatly appreciated. Should I just leave it there, or should I try to talk to her about it and how should I bring it up again? Thanks :)
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