This may sound like more work than it's worth, I don't know if this is normal or just the person I am. Regardless, I'm hoping for some insight.
Right now I'm rehearsing the conversation. I will bring her the divorce papers, tell her it's over, tell her I'm moving out regardless of whether she signs or not (She will, she can't afford court).
I need to be able to fully explain why it's over and I know she will ask why? Simply saying "No sex, no intimacy, no marriage." isn't enough for me, I can't explain why. I've read so much. We're like roommates and I'm divorcing my roommate, not my wife (Does that make sense)?
For those that felt the same way, how did you go about it?
Timeline:
Together 2002
Married 2006
PA 2010
Moved out 2010
Pregnant 2012 (But miscarried)
Mother Dies 2014
Over a year no sex 2015
For me, the lack of sex and desire hurts. If she had some form of disease or traumatic event that prevented her from having sex, that would be different. That's not the case.
She said "I can't kiss you because you're like family. It's my pattern. I don't know why." This hurts, because it means I won't get it back. I need that passion.
She will likely say that she will 'try' to get it back. Of course, she won't actually until she sees the divorce papers. Even then, it will be too little too late.
How do I keep from throwing a temper tantrum about how I felt used. I was her disposable husband, used to help take care of her mother and the bills but nothing else.
I read an article about how roommates are compared to how couples are. What roommates say and do and how couples, in my situation, say and do the same things. You cover up when you're around each other, you don't hug or kiss etc. This is us.
Her first language isn't English, but she speaks it very well. Her native language is one I can speak but not as well as she can speak English. This conversation will be in English but I have to dumb it down a little bit so she can grasp things.
And as silly as it sounds, I do feel like I need to explain myself. I can't understand why, but I do.
Any help
Right now I'm rehearsing the conversation. I will bring her the divorce papers, tell her it's over, tell her I'm moving out regardless of whether she signs or not (She will, she can't afford court).
I need to be able to fully explain why it's over and I know she will ask why? Simply saying "No sex, no intimacy, no marriage." isn't enough for me, I can't explain why. I've read so much. We're like roommates and I'm divorcing my roommate, not my wife (Does that make sense)?
For those that felt the same way, how did you go about it?
Timeline:
Together 2002
Married 2006
PA 2010
Moved out 2010
Pregnant 2012 (But miscarried)
Mother Dies 2014
Over a year no sex 2015
For me, the lack of sex and desire hurts. If she had some form of disease or traumatic event that prevented her from having sex, that would be different. That's not the case.
She said "I can't kiss you because you're like family. It's my pattern. I don't know why." This hurts, because it means I won't get it back. I need that passion.
She will likely say that she will 'try' to get it back. Of course, she won't actually until she sees the divorce papers. Even then, it will be too little too late.
How do I keep from throwing a temper tantrum about how I felt used. I was her disposable husband, used to help take care of her mother and the bills but nothing else.
I read an article about how roommates are compared to how couples are. What roommates say and do and how couples, in my situation, say and do the same things. You cover up when you're around each other, you don't hug or kiss etc. This is us.
Her first language isn't English, but she speaks it very well. Her native language is one I can speak but not as well as she can speak English. This conversation will be in English but I have to dumb it down a little bit so she can grasp things.
And as silly as it sounds, I do feel like I need to explain myself. I can't understand why, but I do.
Any help
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