Summary:
9 year Marriage finally coming to an end...
My lawyer says that:
I can't kick her out. In order for me to separate from her, I would need to file for divorce, break our current lease agreement and find a place for me and the kids. After she is served with papers, she would not be entitled to demand shelter in the new home anymore.
Right now my problems are that:
1. I am currently financially unable to put a new security deposit on a new residence since we are barely getting by.
2. I am not the type of guy who just dumps the mother of his children at the shelter with $2 in her pocket. But at the same time, I also just can't afford to pay 2 places.
3. Not having her around and dropping off kids at school and picking them up would cause problems with my current job schedule or additional financial burden since I would require services of a nanny.
4. I am not planning on making my lawyer rich and taking all disputes to court. I can't afford the legal battle.
5. Most importantly. Our kids are young. They are in elementary school. Ideally I would like them to have 50/50 access to each of us which is going to be difficult due to the lack of funding for an additional residence.
6. Only got 1 functional vehicle at the moment. But she needs a set of wheels to drive kids back and forth and I need to get to work.
What should I do? Spent my last $10 in scratch-offs and hope for the best?
______________________
Some more info:
College educated spouse, 15+ years litigation experience who could easily contribute towards financial problems is refusing to work.
I am busting my butt from 8AM to 6PM and barely can cover all bills. I constantly need to loan money from family. My spouse on the other hand is kicking back and pursuing her Facebook addiction. She calls it her career. She can not put that cellphone down. She is constantly on Social Media primarily Facebook. She gets a kick out of other people liking her posts. It's soo sad. She measures her success in life by the amount of facebook likes she receives. We are not talking about a teenager here, this is a co-dependent, remorseless serial cheating drug addict and alcoholic approaching nearly 50 years of age. By now, I am an alcy myself.
Excuses given:
- "I am too pretty for this. I should be zipping champagne on a yacht"
- "I am not going back to my job, I don't want to take crap from lawyers again"
- "You promised you would take care of me"
- "I am busy with the kids"
- "I did contribute. Remember when I was getting unemployment for 2 years"
It get's worse. She is soo tight up in her social media life that housework is neglected too. Piled up dishes, kids laundry barely done, no meals prepared. She waits for me to come home from work and cook. Kids homework not properly done or checked. Her homework schedule is 10 mins before breakfast before school starts. Everything is saved til the last minute. Her addiction requires 12 hours per day Social Media. She is denial but refuses a timer.
I am very unhappy with my wife. There is a lot of flirting and cheating going on with her 100s of Facebook friends. There are feelings still and a ton of co-dependency issues.
I have a lawyer, I have a retainer for divorce. My lawyer says that people with small children file divorce once they have agreed on most aspects i.e. residences, primary caretaker aso
We can't agree on much, it's been going on for a year now and I can't take it anymore. My wife does not spend a whole lot of time with the children to begin with. 90% of her time is allocated to social media. She is NOT the primary caretaker although she drops off kids at school since I am at work and deals with most paperwork such as insurance and medical.
She wants to take on primary caretaker role so that I financially support her. When I met my wife she was already divorced and was getting child support from her ex for a very long time. I have no intentions going down that route. I know how the child support funds were allocated back than. She has barely contributed a dime to our marriage in the last 5 or 6 years.
I know she loves the children and $1 microwaveable meals or not, I know that kids are safer and more loved with her opposed to some random nanny. It's mommy after all.
Of course, it gets worse...
Being cheated on now multiple times, I am aware of my current doormat situation but I can't afford a legal battle and neither can she. We are in a new state and none of us has any type of support system here. My job/career in this new state is going well and progressing but she wants to return back home.
1. Am I hurt by infidelity? Yes
2. Is there a day that goes by that I don't think about it? Rarely
3. Can I stand looking at my wife on Facebook 24/7 with a $0 income, minimal contribution to household and kids? I hate it. I can't do it anymore. I can't even look at heir anymore when she is "wired in".
9 year Marriage finally coming to an end...
My lawyer says that:
I can't kick her out. In order for me to separate from her, I would need to file for divorce, break our current lease agreement and find a place for me and the kids. After she is served with papers, she would not be entitled to demand shelter in the new home anymore.
Right now my problems are that:
1. I am currently financially unable to put a new security deposit on a new residence since we are barely getting by.
2. I am not the type of guy who just dumps the mother of his children at the shelter with $2 in her pocket. But at the same time, I also just can't afford to pay 2 places.
3. Not having her around and dropping off kids at school and picking them up would cause problems with my current job schedule or additional financial burden since I would require services of a nanny.
4. I am not planning on making my lawyer rich and taking all disputes to court. I can't afford the legal battle.
5. Most importantly. Our kids are young. They are in elementary school. Ideally I would like them to have 50/50 access to each of us which is going to be difficult due to the lack of funding for an additional residence.
6. Only got 1 functional vehicle at the moment. But she needs a set of wheels to drive kids back and forth and I need to get to work.
What should I do? Spent my last $10 in scratch-offs and hope for the best?
______________________
Some more info:
College educated spouse, 15+ years litigation experience who could easily contribute towards financial problems is refusing to work.
I am busting my butt from 8AM to 6PM and barely can cover all bills. I constantly need to loan money from family. My spouse on the other hand is kicking back and pursuing her Facebook addiction. She calls it her career. She can not put that cellphone down. She is constantly on Social Media primarily Facebook. She gets a kick out of other people liking her posts. It's soo sad. She measures her success in life by the amount of facebook likes she receives. We are not talking about a teenager here, this is a co-dependent, remorseless serial cheating drug addict and alcoholic approaching nearly 50 years of age. By now, I am an alcy myself.
Excuses given:
- "I am too pretty for this. I should be zipping champagne on a yacht"
- "I am not going back to my job, I don't want to take crap from lawyers again"
- "You promised you would take care of me"
- "I am busy with the kids"
- "I did contribute. Remember when I was getting unemployment for 2 years"
It get's worse. She is soo tight up in her social media life that housework is neglected too. Piled up dishes, kids laundry barely done, no meals prepared. She waits for me to come home from work and cook. Kids homework not properly done or checked. Her homework schedule is 10 mins before breakfast before school starts. Everything is saved til the last minute. Her addiction requires 12 hours per day Social Media. She is denial but refuses a timer.
I am very unhappy with my wife. There is a lot of flirting and cheating going on with her 100s of Facebook friends. There are feelings still and a ton of co-dependency issues.
I have a lawyer, I have a retainer for divorce. My lawyer says that people with small children file divorce once they have agreed on most aspects i.e. residences, primary caretaker aso
We can't agree on much, it's been going on for a year now and I can't take it anymore. My wife does not spend a whole lot of time with the children to begin with. 90% of her time is allocated to social media. She is NOT the primary caretaker although she drops off kids at school since I am at work and deals with most paperwork such as insurance and medical.
She wants to take on primary caretaker role so that I financially support her. When I met my wife she was already divorced and was getting child support from her ex for a very long time. I have no intentions going down that route. I know how the child support funds were allocated back than. She has barely contributed a dime to our marriage in the last 5 or 6 years.
I know she loves the children and $1 microwaveable meals or not, I know that kids are safer and more loved with her opposed to some random nanny. It's mommy after all.
Of course, it gets worse...
Being cheated on now multiple times, I am aware of my current doormat situation but I can't afford a legal battle and neither can she. We are in a new state and none of us has any type of support system here. My job/career in this new state is going well and progressing but she wants to return back home.
1. Am I hurt by infidelity? Yes
2. Is there a day that goes by that I don't think about it? Rarely
3. Can I stand looking at my wife on Facebook 24/7 with a $0 income, minimal contribution to household and kids? I hate it. I can't do it anymore. I can't even look at heir anymore when she is "wired in".
Put the internet to work for you.
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