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Why won't some women discipline their kids?!

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My sister refuses to put her foot down on my 5 year old niece's behaviour all the time and it's making me not want to visit them because doing so has become a pain.

She doesn't smack her which is understandable but even if her kid does something like be rude to me or my other sister or hit us she will just say a firm word at most and then forget about it. She never talks to her kid seriously about politeness or puts her on a naughty chair or deprives her of "treats" or anything. Or worse she laughs at bad behaviour and says "you used to be like that" (I wasn't). Every time we go to Waitrose she gets her daughter a "present" regardless of how good she has actually been.

If I tell her child off for misbehavour she just says "Oh you two are fighting again" and laughs like it's a joke but I'm the adult trying to teach her manners ffs! I have tried bringing this up with my sister but she says "all kids are like that," and yet her daughter is always being told off at school apparently despite her mother's angry letters to them over every little thing. She even tells her daughter to ask me and our other sister to do things for her like buy sweets or get food from the fridge which has led to her talking in a bratty "ordering around" way to us and other adults.

Why are some women (men too I guess, but her husband disciplines her fine though he works in finance so has been in America for the last year) such failures at disciplining their kids?

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