I am going to start this first post of mine with a little bit of history. When my wife and I got together I fell madly for her. She was awesome in bed, she was a great woman to talk to and best of all she was a great mom for my 1 year old son. My ex disappeared so the mother figure was definitely a nice bonus for dating her. After we dated for two years we got married. Then I deployed to Iraq, it was a great wedding present. When I got back we went back into our old routine and she became pregnant etc. I deployed a year later again. This woman has stood by me through these two tough times. My ex left after the first deployment.
Before our last deployment she and I went out drinking. She got really drunk and snuck off into the bathroom and sent a picture to an ex, surprisingly the picture was fully clothed. We got passed it and I thought we got stronger. Then when I got out of the military my wife and I started to experience some major issues. Arguing and fighting became part of our daily routine. Then she went out again with her friends. This time I went through her phone and phone a picture that was a little lesser in the clothing department to the same guy. There was no nipples or body parts but underwear and such. I blew up on her. Told her I wanted a divorce and felt very betrayed and didnt want to continue. We moved past it, well I thought at least. Our relationship due to my insecurities now is dieing. She hasn't done anything to warrant any of the ways I have been acting other then those messages. Well about three weeks ago, I broke down when nobody was around. I cried like a ba by (usually I am pretty tough, but I definitely cried uncontrollably). I realized that my wife and I have been at the thick of it for the last two years because of these damn pictures, and this other guy. So after a few hours I recomposed myself worked out for over an hour and called the guy who she had been sending them to up. The first question I asked was, are you ****ing my wife? Sorry for the language. He said no, he didn't seam scared or nervous, but he and I had a pretty long talk. He told me flat out that my wife talks to him because I am or have been acting like a ****, and some times she cant take it. He was pretty forth coming with information, but I still don't believe they haven't hooked up or anything like that. I am not stupid but I do love my wife. I sat down with my wife that night and told her I called him. She got mad and said I was embarrassing etc. She calmed down and I told her pretty bluntly, I want to make this work. I love you and I need you in my life. I told her if she has cheated on me I can forgive, despite the movies that will go on in my head. I have plenty of that from my military service. She gave me a honey do list. She told me she wanted more help with the kids in the morning she didn't want to have to clean the house when she got home etc. So I did a 180 and now I clean everything, I cook when I get home and I wake up with her and the kids every morning. I stay off of video games etc. I nailed her list. In result she has been more affectionate, I got laid twice in a day, which hasn't happened in years, and she now has a smile more often then not. Despite her mood change and everything else that points to our marriage getting better, I still feel as though she is going to leave me. I feel as though she is still talking to somebody else. I am not a fool. I will leave if she hasn't cut the ****. I guess my underlining question is, am I being ridiculous in thinking she is doing something behind my back. I dont want to get a key logger or a vr, I feel if I need to go that far it might as well be over anyways. Am I just being a paranoid scared B**** of a husband?
Before our last deployment she and I went out drinking. She got really drunk and snuck off into the bathroom and sent a picture to an ex, surprisingly the picture was fully clothed. We got passed it and I thought we got stronger. Then when I got out of the military my wife and I started to experience some major issues. Arguing and fighting became part of our daily routine. Then she went out again with her friends. This time I went through her phone and phone a picture that was a little lesser in the clothing department to the same guy. There was no nipples or body parts but underwear and such. I blew up on her. Told her I wanted a divorce and felt very betrayed and didnt want to continue. We moved past it, well I thought at least. Our relationship due to my insecurities now is dieing. She hasn't done anything to warrant any of the ways I have been acting other then those messages. Well about three weeks ago, I broke down when nobody was around. I cried like a ba by (usually I am pretty tough, but I definitely cried uncontrollably). I realized that my wife and I have been at the thick of it for the last two years because of these damn pictures, and this other guy. So after a few hours I recomposed myself worked out for over an hour and called the guy who she had been sending them to up. The first question I asked was, are you ****ing my wife? Sorry for the language. He said no, he didn't seam scared or nervous, but he and I had a pretty long talk. He told me flat out that my wife talks to him because I am or have been acting like a ****, and some times she cant take it. He was pretty forth coming with information, but I still don't believe they haven't hooked up or anything like that. I am not stupid but I do love my wife. I sat down with my wife that night and told her I called him. She got mad and said I was embarrassing etc. She calmed down and I told her pretty bluntly, I want to make this work. I love you and I need you in my life. I told her if she has cheated on me I can forgive, despite the movies that will go on in my head. I have plenty of that from my military service. She gave me a honey do list. She told me she wanted more help with the kids in the morning she didn't want to have to clean the house when she got home etc. So I did a 180 and now I clean everything, I cook when I get home and I wake up with her and the kids every morning. I stay off of video games etc. I nailed her list. In result she has been more affectionate, I got laid twice in a day, which hasn't happened in years, and she now has a smile more often then not. Despite her mood change and everything else that points to our marriage getting better, I still feel as though she is going to leave me. I feel as though she is still talking to somebody else. I am not a fool. I will leave if she hasn't cut the ****. I guess my underlining question is, am I being ridiculous in thinking she is doing something behind my back. I dont want to get a key logger or a vr, I feel if I need to go that far it might as well be over anyways. Am I just being a paranoid scared B**** of a husband?
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