Hello,
I've been married 10 years and have 2 boys (10 and 6). I am in the process of divorcing my husband due to his passive aggressive behaviour. The problem is my family think he is the perfect husband.
When I first told my mum I wanted to divorce him she silently listened to all my reasons and said nothing. A few days later she calls me up crying hysterically down the phone, telling me to think about her and my dad who is old and will get sick after hearing this news. That her relationship with my mother in law would be ruined. I didn't handle it so well. I shouted at her that I wouldn't divorce him and told her to never bring this up with me again and I hung up on her.
After that I tried playing happy families with my husband and gave up all plans to leave him because of her. 8 months later I could feel myself slipping into depression and slowly going crazy so I moved out into my own place with the kids without telling my parents.
A few weeks later my son gets admitted to hospital with an asthma attack. The day he's released from hospital my mother calls me. She tells me that the asthma attack was my fault because I moved out. I handle this slightly better than last time. I'm still raising my voice but have control over my facilities. I tell her it's not very nice for her to say that since I'm kind of stressed right now and she tells me how disrespectful it is for me to shout at her like I did last time.
That is the background. My problem now is my husband has gone on the charm offensive with my family. Reassuring them with I don't know what. He went to speak to my parents without telling me and now my mother thinks that I refused to go meet them with him. He spoke to my brother and after when my brother spoke to me he wasn't interested in hearing my reasons but told me he wanted to stay friends with him if we divorced.
I feel isolated and hurt. I think the only way I'm going to be able to deal with my family is to reduce contact with them. I know they will say hurtful things (more then they have already) and I'm steeling myself for that.
As crazy as it sounds I feel I am in competition with my husband to win over my family.
Is there another way I can approach this? Does anyone have any suggestions? I still love them but being around them is difficult at the moment.
I've been married 10 years and have 2 boys (10 and 6). I am in the process of divorcing my husband due to his passive aggressive behaviour. The problem is my family think he is the perfect husband.
When I first told my mum I wanted to divorce him she silently listened to all my reasons and said nothing. A few days later she calls me up crying hysterically down the phone, telling me to think about her and my dad who is old and will get sick after hearing this news. That her relationship with my mother in law would be ruined. I didn't handle it so well. I shouted at her that I wouldn't divorce him and told her to never bring this up with me again and I hung up on her.
After that I tried playing happy families with my husband and gave up all plans to leave him because of her. 8 months later I could feel myself slipping into depression and slowly going crazy so I moved out into my own place with the kids without telling my parents.
A few weeks later my son gets admitted to hospital with an asthma attack. The day he's released from hospital my mother calls me. She tells me that the asthma attack was my fault because I moved out. I handle this slightly better than last time. I'm still raising my voice but have control over my facilities. I tell her it's not very nice for her to say that since I'm kind of stressed right now and she tells me how disrespectful it is for me to shout at her like I did last time.
That is the background. My problem now is my husband has gone on the charm offensive with my family. Reassuring them with I don't know what. He went to speak to my parents without telling me and now my mother thinks that I refused to go meet them with him. He spoke to my brother and after when my brother spoke to me he wasn't interested in hearing my reasons but told me he wanted to stay friends with him if we divorced.
I feel isolated and hurt. I think the only way I'm going to be able to deal with my family is to reduce contact with them. I know they will say hurtful things (more then they have already) and I'm steeling myself for that.
As crazy as it sounds I feel I am in competition with my husband to win over my family.
Is there another way I can approach this? Does anyone have any suggestions? I still love them but being around them is difficult at the moment.
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