I have never considered divorce until now. The issue of laziness is at a breaking point. My husband and I have been married 12 years and we have two children 11 and 5.
I was the primary breadwinner and quit my job and am starting two related new businesses that I can do from our home. My husband works in a construction field and gets the winters off; he is very handy and does our home and car maintenance. We bought a home four years ago that needed some interior work. My husband said he could do the repairs needed. We like being self-reliant, and I have always been there to help him if he lets me know ahead of time and often even if he doesn't. This winter, not having a job outside of the home, I can help him whenever he requests it. Three years ago he began a major project in the home that he expected at the start to have been completed that winter. He worked on it with a nice pace in the beginning, but slowed the pace. Three years later it still not done and he is always going to "work on it today" but rarely does. My house is tore apart and I do not have the skills to fix it myself. My first week after I quit, I did not do anything business related and made myself wholely available to being his partner in finishing the house project (we have worked fine together on other projects); instead he chose to watch television and never took me up on my offer.
He has the skills, the tools, and the time and doesn't do it. I am sick of living in a tore apart home. I never know what to respond to the curious inquires of my neighbors, friends, and family as to what is holding the project up. Our children are following suit with this lay-about attitude. It's obvious we have different expectations of what our family responsibilities are (what we expect of ourselves and from our partner); he has rejected my requests for counseling. So going DIY family counseling I realize that while I can not make him or our children not be layabouts, I could be a better wife/mother. I have been a more attentive wife/mother over the last year, hoping in part that this would help improve his motivation to finish this project. No change.
Maybe the project really is too much? Be the change you wish to see in the world. So I called a contractor to provide an estimate two weeks ago, he said it could be done in 5 half-days with two guys. My husband is beyond upset at me for having a contractor look at it, and is it adamant that I do NOT hire a contractor, that he will "take care of this" and yet there is no progress two weeks later he has spent maybe 4 hours on fixing it up.
It's even hard for me to work on my new business when I know he is just napping instead of working on fixing our broken house.
I was the primary breadwinner and quit my job and am starting two related new businesses that I can do from our home. My husband works in a construction field and gets the winters off; he is very handy and does our home and car maintenance. We bought a home four years ago that needed some interior work. My husband said he could do the repairs needed. We like being self-reliant, and I have always been there to help him if he lets me know ahead of time and often even if he doesn't. This winter, not having a job outside of the home, I can help him whenever he requests it. Three years ago he began a major project in the home that he expected at the start to have been completed that winter. He worked on it with a nice pace in the beginning, but slowed the pace. Three years later it still not done and he is always going to "work on it today" but rarely does. My house is tore apart and I do not have the skills to fix it myself. My first week after I quit, I did not do anything business related and made myself wholely available to being his partner in finishing the house project (we have worked fine together on other projects); instead he chose to watch television and never took me up on my offer.
He has the skills, the tools, and the time and doesn't do it. I am sick of living in a tore apart home. I never know what to respond to the curious inquires of my neighbors, friends, and family as to what is holding the project up. Our children are following suit with this lay-about attitude. It's obvious we have different expectations of what our family responsibilities are (what we expect of ourselves and from our partner); he has rejected my requests for counseling. So going DIY family counseling I realize that while I can not make him or our children not be layabouts, I could be a better wife/mother. I have been a more attentive wife/mother over the last year, hoping in part that this would help improve his motivation to finish this project. No change.
Maybe the project really is too much? Be the change you wish to see in the world. So I called a contractor to provide an estimate two weeks ago, he said it could be done in 5 half-days with two guys. My husband is beyond upset at me for having a contractor look at it, and is it adamant that I do NOT hire a contractor, that he will "take care of this" and yet there is no progress two weeks later he has spent maybe 4 hours on fixing it up.
It's even hard for me to work on my new business when I know he is just napping instead of working on fixing our broken house.
Put the internet to work for you.
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