My husband and I are working on reconciliatino after I had a short affair with another man. We had sex twice before the affair was discovered and I have been working hard to regain trust ever since. Things are shaky, and husband is very angry and hurt.
He has told me that if he finds out I ever cheated on him again or if I lied again that he will lose hope in life and kill himself or go crazy on everybody. I told him the whole truth about the other man, but there's more from several years ago before we were married.
We used to party alot together and get really drunk regularly when we first started dating. He would go to bed early and I'd stay up with my friends. One night my best friend and I went to our guy friends house and very drunkenly, incoherently tried to initiate a threesome with this guy but ended up passing out. We both engaged in a bit of oral with him but it lasted about a minute before we all quit. I've never told my husband about this- and it was several years ago. My best friend doesn't even remember. The man is married now and has a new baby.
My female best friend and I have made out drunkenly on several occasions, but we never talk about it. One time we made out and fooled around in front of her boyfriend, but he left the room and we both passed out. I also have another female freind I made out with and engaged in oral with once, before my husband and I got married. I never talk to her about this either and she moved far away.
My point is- this stuff happened and I feel like I'm not being totally hinest with my husband in our reconciliation even though we weren't married ant his has nothing to do with the affair. It will never happen again. I quit drinking and am working on myself and we're committed to reconciliation.
do I bring it up? Do I let it go and just live with it to save my husband the trouble? It gives me anxiety every day and I worry it'll come up and blow up everything but nobody ever mentions it and really I don't think anyone remembers. It was so long ago. I'm tempted to just divorce because I can't face the truth and all the nasty stuff I used to do. i don't want to come to terms with it
Advice? I already know I did a lot of slvtty things
He has told me that if he finds out I ever cheated on him again or if I lied again that he will lose hope in life and kill himself or go crazy on everybody. I told him the whole truth about the other man, but there's more from several years ago before we were married.
We used to party alot together and get really drunk regularly when we first started dating. He would go to bed early and I'd stay up with my friends. One night my best friend and I went to our guy friends house and very drunkenly, incoherently tried to initiate a threesome with this guy but ended up passing out. We both engaged in a bit of oral with him but it lasted about a minute before we all quit. I've never told my husband about this- and it was several years ago. My best friend doesn't even remember. The man is married now and has a new baby.
My female best friend and I have made out drunkenly on several occasions, but we never talk about it. One time we made out and fooled around in front of her boyfriend, but he left the room and we both passed out. I also have another female freind I made out with and engaged in oral with once, before my husband and I got married. I never talk to her about this either and she moved far away.
My point is- this stuff happened and I feel like I'm not being totally hinest with my husband in our reconciliation even though we weren't married ant his has nothing to do with the affair. It will never happen again. I quit drinking and am working on myself and we're committed to reconciliation.
do I bring it up? Do I let it go and just live with it to save my husband the trouble? It gives me anxiety every day and I worry it'll come up and blow up everything but nobody ever mentions it and really I don't think anyone remembers. It was so long ago. I'm tempted to just divorce because I can't face the truth and all the nasty stuff I used to do. i don't want to come to terms with it
Advice? I already know I did a lot of slvtty things
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