here's the background story so you all won't have to ask why she hates me:
16 years ago one of my children was abused by a teenage relative. The incident was handled correctly, law enforcement was involved, future precautions were made to protect my family against anything like this again. Years later my mother made the mistake of hinting that we start moving forward. We soon found out my wife was not ready to move forward. Wife was angry at my mother and also angry at me for somehow not protecting her and my family against my mother. Had I known that my wife somehow felt unprotected or wanted me to handle things in a different way... then I would have! I thought I did the right thing by telling her I was sorry for not handling it the way she wanted and asking her forgiveness to no avail.
She started getting more and more bitter as the years have progressed and now it's coming to a peak this year.
The problem is it's been 16yrs now and my wife is so very angry, bitter, resentful and hateful against me and my mother. Somehow every time she looks at me it triggers resentment. It also doesn't help that she has high anxiety. She's not able to be intimate with me for several years now. She won't go on dates with me, she can't sit by me at church, hold my hand, participate in anniversaries or give kisses or hugs. My children are upset that their mother doesn't like their daddy and caused 2 of them to cry. I tried to approach her on the subject but was met with anger blaming me for causing it. Thank God Finally my wife agreed to go to marriage counseling with me to the lady counselor she knew... but unfortunately the counseling was horrible. During the first meeting was suggested we learn how to "fall back in love with each other again" by going out on dates and start being romantic. This backfired because my wive needs help getting over her anger first! my wife wouldn't try the suggestions because she's still angry at me!... she's not ready to be nice yet!
As a result my wife canceled the MC and wrote off all counseling in general as a failure.
The huge disrespect and nasty tones she show's towards me as a husband and father have slowly started to chisel away at my patient tough skin. Years of "turning the other cheek" have caused me to snap back at her.
So besides "divorcing her" I'm asking advice from people on the forum how to handle my wife's bitterness and anger. Do I start being nasty back to her? do I shower her with sticky gewy affection and love? do I make ultimatums? do I tattle to her parents who think we get along fine? what would you do?
16 years ago one of my children was abused by a teenage relative. The incident was handled correctly, law enforcement was involved, future precautions were made to protect my family against anything like this again. Years later my mother made the mistake of hinting that we start moving forward. We soon found out my wife was not ready to move forward. Wife was angry at my mother and also angry at me for somehow not protecting her and my family against my mother. Had I known that my wife somehow felt unprotected or wanted me to handle things in a different way... then I would have! I thought I did the right thing by telling her I was sorry for not handling it the way she wanted and asking her forgiveness to no avail.
She started getting more and more bitter as the years have progressed and now it's coming to a peak this year.
The problem is it's been 16yrs now and my wife is so very angry, bitter, resentful and hateful against me and my mother. Somehow every time she looks at me it triggers resentment. It also doesn't help that she has high anxiety. She's not able to be intimate with me for several years now. She won't go on dates with me, she can't sit by me at church, hold my hand, participate in anniversaries or give kisses or hugs. My children are upset that their mother doesn't like their daddy and caused 2 of them to cry. I tried to approach her on the subject but was met with anger blaming me for causing it. Thank God Finally my wife agreed to go to marriage counseling with me to the lady counselor she knew... but unfortunately the counseling was horrible. During the first meeting was suggested we learn how to "fall back in love with each other again" by going out on dates and start being romantic. This backfired because my wive needs help getting over her anger first! my wife wouldn't try the suggestions because she's still angry at me!... she's not ready to be nice yet!
As a result my wife canceled the MC and wrote off all counseling in general as a failure.
The huge disrespect and nasty tones she show's towards me as a husband and father have slowly started to chisel away at my patient tough skin. Years of "turning the other cheek" have caused me to snap back at her.
So besides "divorcing her" I'm asking advice from people on the forum how to handle my wife's bitterness and anger. Do I start being nasty back to her? do I shower her with sticky gewy affection and love? do I make ultimatums? do I tattle to her parents who think we get along fine? what would you do?
Put the internet to work for you.
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