Based on my observation on TAM, I notice a lot of very nice people living in a bad marriage. Also few very mice people living in a very good marriage. So here is my conclusion. How do you think?
1. Overly nice people have a higher risk of marrying a bad spouse and becoming a victim in a bad marriage. Here the bad spouse means those people with personality disorders or simply abusers. Those "bad spouse" people intentionally pick overly nice people to become their spouse because they are more "selfless" ,"giving" , "trusting" and will put up with a lot of sh*t.
2. When one overly nice people marry another overly nice people, they can make a great marriage. They both take making the other spouse happy as their job. They both put the other spouse's need above their own need. So overall, their relationship will be very harmonious and full of love.
3. When an overly nice people marry a normal people. The marriage won't necessarily turn out good. This is because human nature has a tendency of "Hedonic Adaptation". At beginning, the person will feel thrilled to have a spouse so selfless. But after 6, 7 years into the marriage, the person will just get used to it and take it for granted. Since the overly nice people don't take care of his/her own needs, then the other spouse will tend to ignore his/her needs too. Eventually, their relationship might turn sour and the marriage end up not happy.
1. Overly nice people have a higher risk of marrying a bad spouse and becoming a victim in a bad marriage. Here the bad spouse means those people with personality disorders or simply abusers. Those "bad spouse" people intentionally pick overly nice people to become their spouse because they are more "selfless" ,"giving" , "trusting" and will put up with a lot of sh*t.
2. When one overly nice people marry another overly nice people, they can make a great marriage. They both take making the other spouse happy as their job. They both put the other spouse's need above their own need. So overall, their relationship will be very harmonious and full of love.
3. When an overly nice people marry a normal people. The marriage won't necessarily turn out good. This is because human nature has a tendency of "Hedonic Adaptation". At beginning, the person will feel thrilled to have a spouse so selfless. But after 6, 7 years into the marriage, the person will just get used to it and take it for granted. Since the overly nice people don't take care of his/her own needs, then the other spouse will tend to ignore his/her needs too. Eventually, their relationship might turn sour and the marriage end up not happy.
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