I'm 28, my partner is 30 - we've been married for 8 years, lived together for 10 and known each other since early highschool, We've been together, loved each other and enjoyed our lives together all of that time. All the major growth in out lives has been together, generally in the same direction and our relationship has always been on of support, affection and shared fun.
The last 12 months have been very difficult for both of us and have involved a lot of heartache, grief, uncertainty and change. I thought we have been dealing with this Lemon-bonanza as best we could and that any pain, disagreements and exhaustion we were experiencing was understandable given the varying situations we were facing and that the best I could do was try and be calm and consistent, stay the course and wait for things to improve. Under the cover of our circumstances I have come to realise we have totally come adrift from each other. We've become really indifferent to each other and that my husband has been really hurting and has become very depressed.
He's become self-absorbed, apathetic, indifferent, cold and unhappy- it's become really difficult to engage him in a way which he is cheered or pleasant to be around - let alone in a way which I feel rewarded or encouraged to continue. I'm really struggling myself, I feel like I can't 'keep it up regardless.'
I'm not angry at him and I don't resent the problems we're having, but I'm desperate for some new ideas or perspectives. Can anyone share their experiences with a depressed husband or partner? What is reasonable to expect and what can be done how to help and cope?
Please be encouraging - I understand many people may have had to resort to separation or divorce but that's not a direction want to consider.
The last 12 months have been very difficult for both of us and have involved a lot of heartache, grief, uncertainty and change. I thought we have been dealing with this Lemon-bonanza as best we could and that any pain, disagreements and exhaustion we were experiencing was understandable given the varying situations we were facing and that the best I could do was try and be calm and consistent, stay the course and wait for things to improve. Under the cover of our circumstances I have come to realise we have totally come adrift from each other. We've become really indifferent to each other and that my husband has been really hurting and has become very depressed.
He's become self-absorbed, apathetic, indifferent, cold and unhappy- it's become really difficult to engage him in a way which he is cheered or pleasant to be around - let alone in a way which I feel rewarded or encouraged to continue. I'm really struggling myself, I feel like I can't 'keep it up regardless.'
I'm not angry at him and I don't resent the problems we're having, but I'm desperate for some new ideas or perspectives. Can anyone share their experiences with a depressed husband or partner? What is reasonable to expect and what can be done how to help and cope?
Please be encouraging - I understand many people may have had to resort to separation or divorce but that's not a direction want to consider.
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