Sorry in advance for the length of this, just trying to give the full picture.
I have two circles of friends, my really good mates from high school and then college, and some mates that I made through a work colleague.
The latter group have a blokes weekend coming up (Friday to Monday) I've been for the last few years, we go camping, do some fishing, have a few drinks and catch up, a few guys hang around for the whole week but I can't stay that long. The trip has been going for many years and I've been going for the last 7yrs (missed 1), in that time there have been a few firsts for how/where we go and now it's part of every trip, and I really like being a part of this group.
I don't catch up with these guys very often maybe once a year outside the trip, no reason other than we're all really busy, but I have a really good time. It's good to have some time hanging out with the guys. And it's not just a boozy weekend some of the guys, myself included will use it to discuss certain things going on in our lives (health, relationship, career) and get a different perspective.
My wife hasn't said I can't go this year, but I know she doesn't want me to go. Money and Family Time being the main issues. We had a brief discussion about it, and she said "I thought you said you weren't going cause it wasn't worth the money for such a short trip" but this was for a trip to the same place earlier in the year, with a different group of friends that I didn't go on. She has said I need to decide what I'm going to do, but I know she won't be happy if I decide to go.
The issue is the Monday is a holiday so we would usually go away as a family on a long weekend, so that is why I'm having difficulty making a decision. If it was on a normal weekend, like it was two years ago, I'd take the leave and go.
Also we bought a small caravan a little while ago and this would be a good opportunity to use it, justifying the cost of it.
but, we will also be going away with some of her friends on two occasions soon (one camping, and one in a holiday house) after the blokes weekend. I enjoy the weekends away but it's usually with her friends and while I get along with their husbands and have a good time, they're not my good mates.
We went away earlier in the year and there were meant to be a few families coming but for various reasons, some of the families didn't come and one bloke was working so. So it was me my wife and daughter, and two other women and their kids (all girls) for the weekend, we laughed about the situation, my harem, and it was no ones fault that the others couldn't come, but there was no interaction with other blokes again.
I see it that we don't do much with my mates (the college group is useless and it's hard getting them organised, some are on the other side of the world so we can't catch up), and I don't do much on my own (and I don't care about that), and this is the one trip a year where I can go fishing, have a few drinks, talk about cars, and I don't need to organise it, I just show up and have a good time.
She catches up with her mates that live locally all the time, and when we go overseas (to visit her family) we always catch up with all of her friends, and I'm fine with that, I know her friends are important to her and she needs to catch up with them, and if this situation was reversed and she wanted to go on a girls weekend, I'd say yeah go, have fun, we'll have a daddy daughter weekend.
I know she see's it as I don't want to spend time with her, but that's not the case, it's that I want to have some time for me, and have that interaction with the guys, and I struggle to explain myself when we discuss things, so I know it won't come out right.
I have two circles of friends, my really good mates from high school and then college, and some mates that I made through a work colleague.
The latter group have a blokes weekend coming up (Friday to Monday) I've been for the last few years, we go camping, do some fishing, have a few drinks and catch up, a few guys hang around for the whole week but I can't stay that long. The trip has been going for many years and I've been going for the last 7yrs (missed 1), in that time there have been a few firsts for how/where we go and now it's part of every trip, and I really like being a part of this group.
I don't catch up with these guys very often maybe once a year outside the trip, no reason other than we're all really busy, but I have a really good time. It's good to have some time hanging out with the guys. And it's not just a boozy weekend some of the guys, myself included will use it to discuss certain things going on in our lives (health, relationship, career) and get a different perspective.
My wife hasn't said I can't go this year, but I know she doesn't want me to go. Money and Family Time being the main issues. We had a brief discussion about it, and she said "I thought you said you weren't going cause it wasn't worth the money for such a short trip" but this was for a trip to the same place earlier in the year, with a different group of friends that I didn't go on. She has said I need to decide what I'm going to do, but I know she won't be happy if I decide to go.
The issue is the Monday is a holiday so we would usually go away as a family on a long weekend, so that is why I'm having difficulty making a decision. If it was on a normal weekend, like it was two years ago, I'd take the leave and go.
Also we bought a small caravan a little while ago and this would be a good opportunity to use it, justifying the cost of it.
but, we will also be going away with some of her friends on two occasions soon (one camping, and one in a holiday house) after the blokes weekend. I enjoy the weekends away but it's usually with her friends and while I get along with their husbands and have a good time, they're not my good mates.
We went away earlier in the year and there were meant to be a few families coming but for various reasons, some of the families didn't come and one bloke was working so. So it was me my wife and daughter, and two other women and their kids (all girls) for the weekend, we laughed about the situation, my harem, and it was no ones fault that the others couldn't come, but there was no interaction with other blokes again.
I see it that we don't do much with my mates (the college group is useless and it's hard getting them organised, some are on the other side of the world so we can't catch up), and I don't do much on my own (and I don't care about that), and this is the one trip a year where I can go fishing, have a few drinks, talk about cars, and I don't need to organise it, I just show up and have a good time.
She catches up with her mates that live locally all the time, and when we go overseas (to visit her family) we always catch up with all of her friends, and I'm fine with that, I know her friends are important to her and she needs to catch up with them, and if this situation was reversed and she wanted to go on a girls weekend, I'd say yeah go, have fun, we'll have a daddy daughter weekend.
I know she see's it as I don't want to spend time with her, but that's not the case, it's that I want to have some time for me, and have that interaction with the guys, and I struggle to explain myself when we discuss things, so I know it won't come out right.
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