My husband and me got married for 2 years. He's 47, from Asia, and lives in US for 20+ years. I'm 38, moved here since we got married.
Actually, my mother language is not English, so I was worried that I can't find a job here. I asked him if he can find a job in Asia before we getting married. He said NO and asked me to quit my job and move to CA. And promise I don't need to work here.
But 1 year ago, he began to complaint I don't work and he's the only one make money. He already know I can't get a job here before we get married, and now he's complaining about it.
Yesterday, He rise these issues again. He said he's the main income source, he's the only one can make the decision. And he complained I don't treat him like family, I don't do any contribution to this family. In this case, he thinks I should leave because I don't belong to this family.
I explained
* Job
it's you asked me to quit my job, because you didn't want to move back to Asia. And he promised I don't need to work anymore.
His reply: He never said he wanted me to quit my job.
(murmur: if I didn't quit my job, how can you enjoy a marriage life; if I can work, why you pay for my insurance for 3 years)
* Treat him like family
I said I always accompany you do whatever you want, travel, hiking, movie...etc. But he doesn't even want to accompany me to do most of things I want. Whenever I asked him help, he always behaved impatient and gave temper on me. He's always alone by himself after work, I think to accompany/support him is the best thing I can do. Actually, his friends wouldn't go travel with him even have a dinner, because he really good at pissed people off, never listen to people. This is told by a friend.
His reply: how come accompany him is the way I treat him like a family? He said I exaggerated everything.
* No contribution to the family
I need to do all the house chores, cooking, do laundry, clean the house, grocery shopping(he hates this). Because I learned driving since last year, that's when I can go out by myself. Personally i think, If I didn't marry him, he needs to take all these jobs by himself.
His reply: he needs to do the below (I think it's really nothing to do)
filling salt in water softener(2 times/year),
removing wild grass in the yard(1 straw only, and once a year), dealing with HOA(actually we only need to pay HOA fee, I don't know anything to do with HOA),
replacing water filter(once per 2 year),
bank accounts, loans,(everything are automatic transfer)
rental home (we have property management),
tax filing (he hired an accountant)
Finally, he said if he were me, he won't fight for these and will just leave.
Anyone can tell me what's the problem
Actually, my mother language is not English, so I was worried that I can't find a job here. I asked him if he can find a job in Asia before we getting married. He said NO and asked me to quit my job and move to CA. And promise I don't need to work here.
But 1 year ago, he began to complaint I don't work and he's the only one make money. He already know I can't get a job here before we get married, and now he's complaining about it.
Yesterday, He rise these issues again. He said he's the main income source, he's the only one can make the decision. And he complained I don't treat him like family, I don't do any contribution to this family. In this case, he thinks I should leave because I don't belong to this family.
I explained
* Job
it's you asked me to quit my job, because you didn't want to move back to Asia. And he promised I don't need to work anymore.
His reply: He never said he wanted me to quit my job.
(murmur: if I didn't quit my job, how can you enjoy a marriage life; if I can work, why you pay for my insurance for 3 years)
* Treat him like family
I said I always accompany you do whatever you want, travel, hiking, movie...etc. But he doesn't even want to accompany me to do most of things I want. Whenever I asked him help, he always behaved impatient and gave temper on me. He's always alone by himself after work, I think to accompany/support him is the best thing I can do. Actually, his friends wouldn't go travel with him even have a dinner, because he really good at pissed people off, never listen to people. This is told by a friend.
His reply: how come accompany him is the way I treat him like a family? He said I exaggerated everything.
* No contribution to the family
I need to do all the house chores, cooking, do laundry, clean the house, grocery shopping(he hates this). Because I learned driving since last year, that's when I can go out by myself. Personally i think, If I didn't marry him, he needs to take all these jobs by himself.
His reply: he needs to do the below (I think it's really nothing to do)
filling salt in water softener(2 times/year),
removing wild grass in the yard(1 straw only, and once a year), dealing with HOA(actually we only need to pay HOA fee, I don't know anything to do with HOA),
replacing water filter(once per 2 year),
bank accounts, loans,(everything are automatic transfer)
rental home (we have property management),
tax filing (he hired an accountant)
Finally, he said if he were me, he won't fight for these and will just leave.
Anyone can tell me what's the problem
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