WS has done EVERYTHING for R, except the total honesty. He is honest about drug use and other problems but not the EAs. Some of them occurred 20 years ago, other up until 4 years ago. I have had to play detective to bring up a wholes in his story. When confronted with evidence, sometimes he comes clean, other times-he still lies. He has been honest about everything post affairs.
Some of these lies are so stupid. For instance, he said he put a bouquet of flowers in EA car door, at the parking lot in front of the open mic place. That didn't make sense to me, as they were trying to keep things discreet. If he put those flowers in the car door, it would have been very visible to people inside. Months later, he admitted he put the flowers in her car door while she was at church!
Stupid gifts that he sent various EAs. Nothing expensive, some homemade, copies of CDs, etc. I had asked him right to his face if he had given anything and he lied.
I've lost track of the numbers of these stupid deceptions. Some things he attributes to the fact that he can't remember details from so long ago. Others, he admits he lied but can't explain why, or his explanations are ridiculous.
That he thought it sounded 'better' if he stuck with the slowly unraveling story than seem like a liar!!!!
He says he has always been a liar, since childhood and it's a bad habit. He says he sometimes lies to my face and then tells me the truth hours or days later, when he is finally ready to face up to his own behavior.
Is any of this possible? What is the mechanism to this Trickle Truth phenomena. Is it possible for someone to really want a real reconciliation, while struggling with this?
Some of these lies are so stupid. For instance, he said he put a bouquet of flowers in EA car door, at the parking lot in front of the open mic place. That didn't make sense to me, as they were trying to keep things discreet. If he put those flowers in the car door, it would have been very visible to people inside. Months later, he admitted he put the flowers in her car door while she was at church!
Stupid gifts that he sent various EAs. Nothing expensive, some homemade, copies of CDs, etc. I had asked him right to his face if he had given anything and he lied.
I've lost track of the numbers of these stupid deceptions. Some things he attributes to the fact that he can't remember details from so long ago. Others, he admits he lied but can't explain why, or his explanations are ridiculous.
That he thought it sounded 'better' if he stuck with the slowly unraveling story than seem like a liar!!!!
He says he has always been a liar, since childhood and it's a bad habit. He says he sometimes lies to my face and then tells me the truth hours or days later, when he is finally ready to face up to his own behavior.
Is any of this possible? What is the mechanism to this Trickle Truth phenomena. Is it possible for someone to really want a real reconciliation, while struggling with this?
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