I'm 35, female, married with two boys 9 years apart one being 5 months old. Hubby is 45, my best friend, amazing dad and husband. He's the type of man that will take the kids to let me sleep in and make me toast and coffee on a Sunday.
Like most on here our relationship outside of the bedroom is perfect! But inside the bedroom has sunken to a new depth in hell I'm riddled with sadness and devastation. He has simply out grown sex. Sex does not equal love in his mind and has very little need for sex that he can be content with it 6 times a year.
I'm a normal to mid high drive but lately I'd even say my drive is normal to low range for a new again mom. However intimacy with my husband is extremely important to me and I'm having an extremely hard time dealing with his zero interest in that matter.
There is no compromise, sex happens or it doesn't simply based on his mood. He does not even meet me 25% of the way. Unless its only a bj im after then he will gladly allow but he will not get me off to help satisfy me in any way. I used to hint, flirt, play, ask, beg to no avail. I stopped for months because the rejection was just too much to bear.
We became a sexless couple.
Then one day I broke down and told him I can't live this way. That being married to him makes me feel vile, less of a woman, pathetic and desperate. Not to mention the pain in my heart from desiring his touch or attention and how lonely it is for me. I said things have to change and he promised they would.
I went away for a month to visit his family and told him to see what life would be like without me that maybe he would be happier. Because clearly I'm not the right woman for him because he's not sexually stimulated by me. He said he's like that with all women, he's just not into sex and its getting worse with age. But he promised to make changes to meet me in the middle. I even suggested a date night every two weeks where we could be intimate. He said he will try harder.
Came back and of course the first night we ended up having awkward sex that was really just quick and lacking anything intimate. I didn't even want to because I wanted us both to be groomed but it just happened so fast I gave in and figured the weekend we could have a do over. Because he was proving to me things will be better. The next morning I was kinda on cloud nine and proceeded to arouse him and ended up giving him a BJ, ill be honest I missed doing that since we stopped being intimate I couldn't help myself. Again I felt like not making sex an issue and just going with the flow.
Fast forward to the weekend, I groom and hint that he should too, he doesn't. I get into bed with him I'm wearing a sexy little dress and ankle socks (that used to be his thing) and nothing happens. I don't get upset I don't want to lose momentum between us by fighting so I say to myself "it will happen in the morning" he prefers morning sex anyway. Morning comes he's rubbing my bum so i think ok this might be the time. I start to rub his thighs and such and he gets hard (he never ever has morning wood) I play with him a bit and figured that's enough. He gets out of bed and gets dressed????
Again I don't get upset and tell myself that night it will happen but of course it didnt. I cried myself to sleep he was angry at me. Now I sit here wondering wtf am I going to do. He's come in and rubbed me and kissed me trying to make amends but at this point if I even bother with his gestures it just means going back to happy sexless roommates.
I'm sorry I just want to vent and find comfort in ppl who share similar situations. I know you've all heard this story before. I'm so alone I can't share this with friends or family. Everyone thinks we are perfect!
Like most on here our relationship outside of the bedroom is perfect! But inside the bedroom has sunken to a new depth in hell I'm riddled with sadness and devastation. He has simply out grown sex. Sex does not equal love in his mind and has very little need for sex that he can be content with it 6 times a year.
I'm a normal to mid high drive but lately I'd even say my drive is normal to low range for a new again mom. However intimacy with my husband is extremely important to me and I'm having an extremely hard time dealing with his zero interest in that matter.
There is no compromise, sex happens or it doesn't simply based on his mood. He does not even meet me 25% of the way. Unless its only a bj im after then he will gladly allow but he will not get me off to help satisfy me in any way. I used to hint, flirt, play, ask, beg to no avail. I stopped for months because the rejection was just too much to bear.
We became a sexless couple.
Then one day I broke down and told him I can't live this way. That being married to him makes me feel vile, less of a woman, pathetic and desperate. Not to mention the pain in my heart from desiring his touch or attention and how lonely it is for me. I said things have to change and he promised they would.
I went away for a month to visit his family and told him to see what life would be like without me that maybe he would be happier. Because clearly I'm not the right woman for him because he's not sexually stimulated by me. He said he's like that with all women, he's just not into sex and its getting worse with age. But he promised to make changes to meet me in the middle. I even suggested a date night every two weeks where we could be intimate. He said he will try harder.
Came back and of course the first night we ended up having awkward sex that was really just quick and lacking anything intimate. I didn't even want to because I wanted us both to be groomed but it just happened so fast I gave in and figured the weekend we could have a do over. Because he was proving to me things will be better. The next morning I was kinda on cloud nine and proceeded to arouse him and ended up giving him a BJ, ill be honest I missed doing that since we stopped being intimate I couldn't help myself. Again I felt like not making sex an issue and just going with the flow.
Fast forward to the weekend, I groom and hint that he should too, he doesn't. I get into bed with him I'm wearing a sexy little dress and ankle socks (that used to be his thing) and nothing happens. I don't get upset I don't want to lose momentum between us by fighting so I say to myself "it will happen in the morning" he prefers morning sex anyway. Morning comes he's rubbing my bum so i think ok this might be the time. I start to rub his thighs and such and he gets hard (he never ever has morning wood) I play with him a bit and figured that's enough. He gets out of bed and gets dressed????
Again I don't get upset and tell myself that night it will happen but of course it didnt. I cried myself to sleep he was angry at me. Now I sit here wondering wtf am I going to do. He's come in and rubbed me and kissed me trying to make amends but at this point if I even bother with his gestures it just means going back to happy sexless roommates.
I'm sorry I just want to vent and find comfort in ppl who share similar situations. I know you've all heard this story before. I'm so alone I can't share this with friends or family. Everyone thinks we are perfect!
Put the internet to work for you.
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