Hello everyone,
Thanks for the help. I have been with my wife for about 6 years, 4 which have been married. Within the last two years things have been getting progressively worse. Hopefully you can shed the light on why things are so bad for me!
She is very hard on me with what I am not capable of. For example, I am not a very good handyman and she makes me feel guilty about how little I can do around the house. (She is an engineer and pretty handy) On my side of the fence, I do keep the house tidy, doing all the dishes, garbage and recyclables. I help with laundry, keeping the beds made etc. She is extremely OCD, but she doesn't pick up after herself. She freaks about something being dusty, but at the same time will leave glasses and food stacked up in her office.
The next issue I take a large amount of "abuse" from is our financial situation. She has a very good job as an engineer and thus covers most of our major bills. I am a college professor and make significantly less money than her. For example she pays the mortgage, and I pay the internet and TV bill (to put it in perspective.) She makes comments to me that she has all of the burdon on her shoulders and I don't help at all. Also, she will say things like "I put a roof over your head" and "You couldn't live on your own" (I lived on my own for a decade as a middle school teacher)
I feel like she is always so angry. I ask her "Why are you so mad?" she responds "because I have to do everything" This has lead to us having no sex in over a year because she's so unhappy. When I propose "intimacy" with her, she is too tired from working so hard. She asks me for back rubs and to caress her back when she is feeling bad and I never say no... I always hope that this may lead to sex, but it hasn't in a very long time. She gets VERY angry now when I ask to have sex, and says to me "you don't do anything to make me want to have sex with you."
She is extremely bitter about me being a professor and not working over the summers. I do side jobs to make some supplemental money, but that doesn't come on her radar at all, because it still doesn't help with the "big bills."
When I try to have conversations with her about why she is so miserable, she deflects. Am I wrong? I am FAR from a perfect person... I have faults, and I admit them to her. I feel like I project love and warmth and she tells me I force it on her and I kiss her to try to prove a point that she isn't intimate with me.
Thanks for letting me vent, and I hope to hear some responses from you.
~DJ
Thanks for the help. I have been with my wife for about 6 years, 4 which have been married. Within the last two years things have been getting progressively worse. Hopefully you can shed the light on why things are so bad for me!
She is very hard on me with what I am not capable of. For example, I am not a very good handyman and she makes me feel guilty about how little I can do around the house. (She is an engineer and pretty handy) On my side of the fence, I do keep the house tidy, doing all the dishes, garbage and recyclables. I help with laundry, keeping the beds made etc. She is extremely OCD, but she doesn't pick up after herself. She freaks about something being dusty, but at the same time will leave glasses and food stacked up in her office.
The next issue I take a large amount of "abuse" from is our financial situation. She has a very good job as an engineer and thus covers most of our major bills. I am a college professor and make significantly less money than her. For example she pays the mortgage, and I pay the internet and TV bill (to put it in perspective.) She makes comments to me that she has all of the burdon on her shoulders and I don't help at all. Also, she will say things like "I put a roof over your head" and "You couldn't live on your own" (I lived on my own for a decade as a middle school teacher)
I feel like she is always so angry. I ask her "Why are you so mad?" she responds "because I have to do everything" This has lead to us having no sex in over a year because she's so unhappy. When I propose "intimacy" with her, she is too tired from working so hard. She asks me for back rubs and to caress her back when she is feeling bad and I never say no... I always hope that this may lead to sex, but it hasn't in a very long time. She gets VERY angry now when I ask to have sex, and says to me "you don't do anything to make me want to have sex with you."
She is extremely bitter about me being a professor and not working over the summers. I do side jobs to make some supplemental money, but that doesn't come on her radar at all, because it still doesn't help with the "big bills."
When I try to have conversations with her about why she is so miserable, she deflects. Am I wrong? I am FAR from a perfect person... I have faults, and I admit them to her. I feel like I project love and warmth and she tells me I force it on her and I kiss her to try to prove a point that she isn't intimate with me.
Thanks for letting me vent, and I hope to hear some responses from you.
~DJ
Put the internet to work for you.
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