I've been married to my husband for 21 years and we've been together since I was 18. I love my husband, he's a good man and I wish I could feel like I want to be intimate, but I don't. I've always had a low sex drive, even when I was 18. I never think about sex, never fantasize about it, never crave it. This has really hurt our relationship. A few years ago I was put on progesterone because my hormone levels were bottomed out. For the first time in my life I actually felt intimate and it was wonderful. I've been off the progesterone for years now because my hormone levels had evened out and my doctor won't put me back on it due to low libido. So once again, I have no sex drive. :(
I can't begin to tell you the pain, anger and resentment we both have towards each other. There are relationship issues that I know totally attribute to what doesn't happen in the bedroom. He's always been a workaholic, even while we were in high school. The problem is, there is never any time to connect with each other. He comes home from work, we eat dinner, everyone gathers in the living room to watch tv and within a few minutes he's fallen asleep. It's like this nearly seven days a week. We've tried doing date nights but to be honest, we quickly slip back into our old patterns of not going out and him falling asleep on the couch.
The lack of sex with him has become so much of an issue that now I experience anxiety around bedtime, or when he touches me because I think that's what he's wanting because that's the only time he ever touches me. Or if we do have sex, I have to make sure I enjoy it because it upsets him if I don't. It's too much pressure.
I've told him that there's a lack of connection between us. There's rote talking (how was your day) but never any real communication. He told me he needed to have sex to be connected, that he couldn't connect then have sex. Although he has tried.
My oldest is going off to college in a few weeks and we'll have an empty nest when my youngest leaves in three years. I've often felt like a single married person in my marriage. He works all the time and takes care of the yard but I do everything else. And I mean EVERYTHING else because he's not here to help.
We got into a big fight this morning. I was woken up at 5:30 in the morning to him rubbing my butt and getting closer and closer to "that" area. He told me he couldn't sleep and he wanted to have sex. All I could think was "You've got to be joking." He got mad and stormed out of the house blowing off his dentist appointment that took forever for me to get.
I'm just so sad, angry and frustrated. I no longer know what to do.
I can't begin to tell you the pain, anger and resentment we both have towards each other. There are relationship issues that I know totally attribute to what doesn't happen in the bedroom. He's always been a workaholic, even while we were in high school. The problem is, there is never any time to connect with each other. He comes home from work, we eat dinner, everyone gathers in the living room to watch tv and within a few minutes he's fallen asleep. It's like this nearly seven days a week. We've tried doing date nights but to be honest, we quickly slip back into our old patterns of not going out and him falling asleep on the couch.
The lack of sex with him has become so much of an issue that now I experience anxiety around bedtime, or when he touches me because I think that's what he's wanting because that's the only time he ever touches me. Or if we do have sex, I have to make sure I enjoy it because it upsets him if I don't. It's too much pressure.
I've told him that there's a lack of connection between us. There's rote talking (how was your day) but never any real communication. He told me he needed to have sex to be connected, that he couldn't connect then have sex. Although he has tried.
My oldest is going off to college in a few weeks and we'll have an empty nest when my youngest leaves in three years. I've often felt like a single married person in my marriage. He works all the time and takes care of the yard but I do everything else. And I mean EVERYTHING else because he's not here to help.
We got into a big fight this morning. I was woken up at 5:30 in the morning to him rubbing my butt and getting closer and closer to "that" area. He told me he couldn't sleep and he wanted to have sex. All I could think was "You've got to be joking." He got mad and stormed out of the house blowing off his dentist appointment that took forever for me to get.
I'm just so sad, angry and frustrated. I no longer know what to do.
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