We will have been married 20 years next month. All in all, it has been a good marriage, with some rough spots as all marriages have. We have two kids under the age of 13. Our rough patches in the past have had to do with sex (shocking, I know!), and restlessness as to where we live (husband would like to live elsewhere, but we are not in the financial place right now to move).
In the past, I was deficient in the sex area, or at least he thought I was. So I really tried hard and upped the ante and initiated all the time, much to his delight. We seemed on very solid footing again.
However, now for the past week he has suddenly been acting very cold and distant towards me. Not to the kids or anyone else, just to me. I can't think of anything I might have done to cause this behavior. In fact, I have gotten dolled up and tried to initiate sex only to get a wan smile and a cold hug in return.
Two big changes have happened in his life recently which had nothing to do with me. He decided to lose weight and has lost about 60 pounds in the past month with the help of low caloric intake, phentermine and excessive exercise (like, going jogging at 11 pm and spending all his time at the gym). I am so happy he has lost the weight, and while he told me phentermine has made sex difficult for him, we had amazing sex many times just a couple of weeks ago.
Another thing is that he has a young, sexy, beautiful office assistant at our business now. We couldn't run the business without her. She is a single mom with 3 very young kids at home and smokes like a chimney, which my husband can't stand, but all I know is ever since she came into our lives my husband has seemed to pull away from me.
I do not think he is cheating. Or, maybe he is. He may be many things but I could never imagine him cheating, not in a million years. He is as honest as they come and I really think if he decided to be with her he would just come out and tell me. Either way, I can't account for the coldness towards me when I have done nothing wrong.
So, my question is, what do I do? Ignore his behavior until he comes around again? He has acted this way in the past but never to this extent. I have asked him what is wrong but he says "nothing", and anyway, nagging him about it is very unattractive. Should I just throw myself into my own interests and give up?
In the past, I was deficient in the sex area, or at least he thought I was. So I really tried hard and upped the ante and initiated all the time, much to his delight. We seemed on very solid footing again.
However, now for the past week he has suddenly been acting very cold and distant towards me. Not to the kids or anyone else, just to me. I can't think of anything I might have done to cause this behavior. In fact, I have gotten dolled up and tried to initiate sex only to get a wan smile and a cold hug in return.
Two big changes have happened in his life recently which had nothing to do with me. He decided to lose weight and has lost about 60 pounds in the past month with the help of low caloric intake, phentermine and excessive exercise (like, going jogging at 11 pm and spending all his time at the gym). I am so happy he has lost the weight, and while he told me phentermine has made sex difficult for him, we had amazing sex many times just a couple of weeks ago.
Another thing is that he has a young, sexy, beautiful office assistant at our business now. We couldn't run the business without her. She is a single mom with 3 very young kids at home and smokes like a chimney, which my husband can't stand, but all I know is ever since she came into our lives my husband has seemed to pull away from me.
I do not think he is cheating. Or, maybe he is. He may be many things but I could never imagine him cheating, not in a million years. He is as honest as they come and I really think if he decided to be with her he would just come out and tell me. Either way, I can't account for the coldness towards me when I have done nothing wrong.
So, my question is, what do I do? Ignore his behavior until he comes around again? He has acted this way in the past but never to this extent. I have asked him what is wrong but he says "nothing", and anyway, nagging him about it is very unattractive. Should I just throw myself into my own interests and give up?
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