Met my husband 2 years ago. Being married 1year. He is 24 and I am 23. We are kind of a long distance relationship. We met in person, but I had to traveled to my country. So we have been visiting each other since then. Right now we are in a different country.
His longest relationship was 9 month with a girl that was behind another dude. She even posted stuff about the other dude in there blogged. So, my H broke up with her, but then he said that she cried and begged, so they came back together. Then after a month or two she left him and then he was the one begging and crying after her. When she didn't want to do anything with him. He just gave up and got himself in a rebound relationship for 2 or 3 months.
Then a month later he met me and I immediately knew that he was my soul mate...I was like "poor baby with that awful lady".
So after a year we married and be happy. After 9 or 10 month I started having sleeping problems, I gained a lot of weight. Also, I started to have low Self-esteem, I was being negativity and I even got depression. (I have never had depression before)
I started to be afraid about everything in my life, and I was being irritable...Sometimes I would started a fight without any reason at all, and I would not shut up :( ... So, one day I even called my H and I told hime that I didn't see the point of life anymore (I was in really bad place...and I didn't even know why)...My H reacted not like everyone would react. But, I kind of understand because he is a private person. So, then I started making plans of how to improve my life and looking of the causes of my bad feelings.
One night we were on skype, and I made him feel like if he didn't love me, then I felt bad and I wanted to say I am sorry but he was already sleeping. So I wanted to wait for the next day and I told myself that I cannot keep fighting and making him feel bad....Next day, he just sent me this email:
"I'm really sorry ... I went really crazy this morning... I couldn't sleep last night... I can't do this anymore... I want nothing more in the world than to be alone... I don't think this is something we can work out... I can't live like this... it's not a life..."
It was really awful and I felt that my whole word felt apart...So I gave him few days to think about it and I told him that I was really sorry and I was already looking how to fix things and I even went to see a doctor to deal with my sleeping problems (she said I need surgery)....He just went full mute!
Look I understand that being with a depressed person it is not a cool thing to do...but what happened if that person tells you that she is looking for help and improving things in life? :confused:
It has been a month and he hasn't said a word to me. I send him emails telling him how sorry I am. That I have been improving. I found out that many of the things that was going on were caused for my lack of sleeping and some unsolved problems in my past. That I was getting help from God, my family and my psychologist friend. I even told him that I would travel to his country and we can go to a counselor (there is a pastor in a church that will do the counseling for free)... But he won`t say a word.
I even told him that why did he forgive the other girl and he won't forgive me?
So now I am debating and I don't know what to do because he was the one that had a job and he used to pay for my things. He cut the money and now I only have a little. (we don't have kids)
Should I go over there (his country) and tried to talk to him and see if we can save our marriage?
or Should I use that money to do my surgery to fix my sleeping problems?
Am I a monster? like a horrible person? with his silent he makes me feel like that.
I love him whit all my heart. There hasn't been a day that I have not cried for that guy.
Please help me and be honest. Thanks!
His longest relationship was 9 month with a girl that was behind another dude. She even posted stuff about the other dude in there blogged. So, my H broke up with her, but then he said that she cried and begged, so they came back together. Then after a month or two she left him and then he was the one begging and crying after her. When she didn't want to do anything with him. He just gave up and got himself in a rebound relationship for 2 or 3 months.
Then a month later he met me and I immediately knew that he was my soul mate...I was like "poor baby with that awful lady".
So after a year we married and be happy. After 9 or 10 month I started having sleeping problems, I gained a lot of weight. Also, I started to have low Self-esteem, I was being negativity and I even got depression. (I have never had depression before)
I started to be afraid about everything in my life, and I was being irritable...Sometimes I would started a fight without any reason at all, and I would not shut up :( ... So, one day I even called my H and I told hime that I didn't see the point of life anymore (I was in really bad place...and I didn't even know why)...My H reacted not like everyone would react. But, I kind of understand because he is a private person. So, then I started making plans of how to improve my life and looking of the causes of my bad feelings.
One night we were on skype, and I made him feel like if he didn't love me, then I felt bad and I wanted to say I am sorry but he was already sleeping. So I wanted to wait for the next day and I told myself that I cannot keep fighting and making him feel bad....Next day, he just sent me this email:
"I'm really sorry ... I went really crazy this morning... I couldn't sleep last night... I can't do this anymore... I want nothing more in the world than to be alone... I don't think this is something we can work out... I can't live like this... it's not a life..."
It was really awful and I felt that my whole word felt apart...So I gave him few days to think about it and I told him that I was really sorry and I was already looking how to fix things and I even went to see a doctor to deal with my sleeping problems (she said I need surgery)....He just went full mute!
Look I understand that being with a depressed person it is not a cool thing to do...but what happened if that person tells you that she is looking for help and improving things in life? :confused:
It has been a month and he hasn't said a word to me. I send him emails telling him how sorry I am. That I have been improving. I found out that many of the things that was going on were caused for my lack of sleeping and some unsolved problems in my past. That I was getting help from God, my family and my psychologist friend. I even told him that I would travel to his country and we can go to a counselor (there is a pastor in a church that will do the counseling for free)... But he won`t say a word.
I even told him that why did he forgive the other girl and he won't forgive me?
So now I am debating and I don't know what to do because he was the one that had a job and he used to pay for my things. He cut the money and now I only have a little. (we don't have kids)
Should I go over there (his country) and tried to talk to him and see if we can save our marriage?
or Should I use that money to do my surgery to fix my sleeping problems?
Am I a monster? like a horrible person? with his silent he makes me feel like that.
I love him whit all my heart. There hasn't been a day that I have not cried for that guy.
Please help me and be honest. Thanks!
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