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Sex… and Human Perception
The Preliminary
Before we get into the topic of sex, we first want to define what we mean when we use the word. When we use the term sex, we don't necessarily mean intercourse, or stimulation of the vagina or penis. Yes, these may be included at times, but not of necessity. When we speak of sex, we speak of the couple's union of body, mind, and spirit, not merely the body.
Setting the stage
Sex is a topic of interest throughout the world. However, because many people often have a narrow view of sex, it often makes this subject of highest interest, begin to fade as such in individuals as time passes. The problem arises because just like going to work, going to the gym, and going to the coffee shop, people come to view sex, in one way or another, as something to do. But sex, at its best, does not operate this way.
One of the best comparisons to the experience of real sex, is that which takes place as you are falling asleep. This is hardly something that you do. Rather, it's something that you experience. You enjoy it supremely, but it can be hardly said that you actually do anything. Instead, you are enjoying the experience of letting go of everything, of feeling comfortable, and just being taken away by the sandman.
This is how it is supposed to be with sex. You aren't supposed to be focused on doing anything. Focus is the whole problem. When you indulge yourself in your favorite dessert, do you actually try to taste it, do you focus on tasting it, or does it just happen all on its own and you let come whatever will? The same with sex. Stop focusing on giving or feeling pleasure, and just enjoy the experience of being united (body, mind, and spirit) with your partner. We've never found anyone that ruins their experience of falling asleep, by focusing on falling asleep, or even focusing on enjoying falling asleep. But one of the most beautiful experiences that can be enjoyed is so often ruined because people are trying to do something, trying to focus, and if they would but let these things go, they would find that sex would happen, all on its own.
The root cause of our misshapen experience of sex, is due to our perception of sex. Before people ever have first-time sex, they are pre-conditioned by the media as to what sex is and is supposed to be like. They are told that it is supposed to feel good, supposed to look like this, involves these parts of the body, and can be done in these many different positions and ways. Because this media supported view of sex is the only thing that the individual can grasp at the time, not having made or being able to make their own discoveries, they come to adopt the view of sex that the media has given them. This effectually spoils the individual's perception of sex, which ends up following through with spoiling their sexual experience.
For example, what do you find in magazines about sex? It's always about what you can do, where you can do it, what you can try, what you need to watch for…etc. And this is the problem. What ever happened to, not what you can do, but the magic that can take place when you stop focusing on what you can do, and let nature play its own music?
Clarifying – What sex is, and what it is not
Sex is an art, but it is not the art of pumping the guy, thrusting the girl, or any related action. It is the art of two people, not bodies, blending together in a graceful dance of motion, not because each person has spent time practicing the steps, learning the moves, and studying the science, but because it's just what happens when we let go and give place to nature.
Sex is an act of devotion, but not to pleasure, not to sex, not even to the experience of it, but to each other. It is not an act of devotion to oneself, one's body, or even to the other person's body, but to them (body, mind, and spirit). Selfish views corrupt all things, and the sexual experience is not exempt. The individual who views sex as something to enjoy, cannot enjoy it. They can enjoy some pleasure of the body, yes, but not of the united blend of the body, mind, and spirit, with another person. Thus they miss out on sex altogether, and only get a severely watered down version of the bodily pleasure that they think they have.
Sex is a state of being. As we've said earlier, sex is not something to do, but to experience. Those who view sex as something to do, can never do it, because it is not something that can be done. Sex is being one with your partner. It is the experience of two minds, bodies, and spirits, being submerged in each other in a state of oneness. Everything that people do eventually becomes boring, to some degree or another, and they lose at least some interest in doing it, at least for a while. And this is why so many couples veer off and end up being separated from each other, though living under the same roof. But when we understand that sex is not something to do, but to experience, then it can never become boring. Eating food can become boring, but experiencing the satisfaction of food, never gets old. Going to bed may get old, but experiencing the bliss of letting go and falling asleep when you are worn out and dead tired, remains a favorite of many to this day. The same with sex. Going through the motions and positions of sex will, like everything else, get boring. But the mystical wonder of being one, in a graceful dance of art, can never wrinkle, crinkle, or age.
Because sex is a state of being, it does not revolve around time. Yes, time may need to be set aside for the experience (not event), but you cannot have real sex while wondering, "Do we have enough time to pleasure us both?" "How will we clean up the mess?" "How much longer before I orgasm?" …etc. Until you have parted with these and like event based questions, real sex is beyond your reach. Forget about orgasming, how you will clean up the mess, and if there is time for you to get pleasured. These things only matter if sex, and all parts of it, are viewed as events. But real sex is not event based. Yes, have a way to clean up on hand, and be free to burst yourself and your partner into pleasuring moans, but remember still, that these things are not sex.
Sex is magic. It is not magic in the sense of actual spells, incantations, and the likes, but in the sense of beauty, wonder, and mystery. The rhythmic flow of gentle thrusting, the swelling waves of slow kissing, the passionate grace of a naked, massaging embrace, this is the magic of sex. It is the mystic beauty of two spirits singing, two bodies dancing, and two minds embracing in the perfect harmony of oneness.
Sex is free, not bound. What we mean is, is that contrary to popular belief, sex is not about breasts, balls, vagina's, and penises. They are and can be involved, yes, but real sex is the uniting of the whole body, not just the sexual organs. It involves the uniting of forehead with forehead, nose with nose, lip with lip, neck with neck, chest with chest, navel with navel, thigh with thigh, leg with leg, foot with foot, and toe with toe. Sex is not supposed to be centralized to the sexual organs, bound up in the bonds of medial definition.
Back in the days when people walked around fully clothed, a woman's neck and ankles were considered a turn on. But today, what is sexy has been centralized to the woman's breast and vagina, and the man's penis, because these are the only parts that have to be covered. Imagine men, what it would have been like during your first time sexual experience, if you never saw a woman's shoulder or calves before. But instead, you were probably robbed of this experience due to society. You probably only got to enjoy the experience of viewing a woman's breasts and vagina for the first time, instead of her whole body. Imagine that you had 90% more to see on your wedding night. This thought probably doesn't mean much to you, because shoulders and ankles aren't sexy to you, but they would be if you never saw them before.
A woman's whole body would be considered as sexual today, if woman had never exposed all of their bodies, excepting the breasts and vagina. But instead, men view these as the only sexual parts of the woman, because society has sent them to lifetime in prison on the idea, and nothing can be done to fully reverse it.
Sex is not bound to certain parts of the body, to certain things we can do, to certain ways we can feel, or even certain things we can experience. Sex is free; it's magical. It permeates all things.
Perception
Real sex cannot be had while the individual's perception of real sex is distorted. If sex is bound in our minds to something we can do and feel, then we either need to change our perception of what sex is, or understand that we will never experience it. Sex cannot become boring to those who actually have it. Sex is not something that couples do, but something that they experience. If you're one of those people that have to search for some new thing, place, or position to try, in order to experience "better" sex, it's because you've never experienced it to begin with. There is nothing wrong with trying new positions, going new places, and doing new things, or even sticking with all the old, but these things are not sex. Some of these things may take place during the experience of sex, but they cannot, they never will be sex.
Sex… and Human Perception
The Preliminary
Before we get into the topic of sex, we first want to define what we mean when we use the word. When we use the term sex, we don't necessarily mean intercourse, or stimulation of the vagina or penis. Yes, these may be included at times, but not of necessity. When we speak of sex, we speak of the couple's union of body, mind, and spirit, not merely the body.
Setting the stage
Sex is a topic of interest throughout the world. However, because many people often have a narrow view of sex, it often makes this subject of highest interest, begin to fade as such in individuals as time passes. The problem arises because just like going to work, going to the gym, and going to the coffee shop, people come to view sex, in one way or another, as something to do. But sex, at its best, does not operate this way.
One of the best comparisons to the experience of real sex, is that which takes place as you are falling asleep. This is hardly something that you do. Rather, it's something that you experience. You enjoy it supremely, but it can be hardly said that you actually do anything. Instead, you are enjoying the experience of letting go of everything, of feeling comfortable, and just being taken away by the sandman.
This is how it is supposed to be with sex. You aren't supposed to be focused on doing anything. Focus is the whole problem. When you indulge yourself in your favorite dessert, do you actually try to taste it, do you focus on tasting it, or does it just happen all on its own and you let come whatever will? The same with sex. Stop focusing on giving or feeling pleasure, and just enjoy the experience of being united (body, mind, and spirit) with your partner. We've never found anyone that ruins their experience of falling asleep, by focusing on falling asleep, or even focusing on enjoying falling asleep. But one of the most beautiful experiences that can be enjoyed is so often ruined because people are trying to do something, trying to focus, and if they would but let these things go, they would find that sex would happen, all on its own.
The root cause of our misshapen experience of sex, is due to our perception of sex. Before people ever have first-time sex, they are pre-conditioned by the media as to what sex is and is supposed to be like. They are told that it is supposed to feel good, supposed to look like this, involves these parts of the body, and can be done in these many different positions and ways. Because this media supported view of sex is the only thing that the individual can grasp at the time, not having made or being able to make their own discoveries, they come to adopt the view of sex that the media has given them. This effectually spoils the individual's perception of sex, which ends up following through with spoiling their sexual experience.
For example, what do you find in magazines about sex? It's always about what you can do, where you can do it, what you can try, what you need to watch for…etc. And this is the problem. What ever happened to, not what you can do, but the magic that can take place when you stop focusing on what you can do, and let nature play its own music?
Clarifying – What sex is, and what it is not
Sex is an art, but it is not the art of pumping the guy, thrusting the girl, or any related action. It is the art of two people, not bodies, blending together in a graceful dance of motion, not because each person has spent time practicing the steps, learning the moves, and studying the science, but because it's just what happens when we let go and give place to nature.
Sex is an act of devotion, but not to pleasure, not to sex, not even to the experience of it, but to each other. It is not an act of devotion to oneself, one's body, or even to the other person's body, but to them (body, mind, and spirit). Selfish views corrupt all things, and the sexual experience is not exempt. The individual who views sex as something to enjoy, cannot enjoy it. They can enjoy some pleasure of the body, yes, but not of the united blend of the body, mind, and spirit, with another person. Thus they miss out on sex altogether, and only get a severely watered down version of the bodily pleasure that they think they have.
Sex is a state of being. As we've said earlier, sex is not something to do, but to experience. Those who view sex as something to do, can never do it, because it is not something that can be done. Sex is being one with your partner. It is the experience of two minds, bodies, and spirits, being submerged in each other in a state of oneness. Everything that people do eventually becomes boring, to some degree or another, and they lose at least some interest in doing it, at least for a while. And this is why so many couples veer off and end up being separated from each other, though living under the same roof. But when we understand that sex is not something to do, but to experience, then it can never become boring. Eating food can become boring, but experiencing the satisfaction of food, never gets old. Going to bed may get old, but experiencing the bliss of letting go and falling asleep when you are worn out and dead tired, remains a favorite of many to this day. The same with sex. Going through the motions and positions of sex will, like everything else, get boring. But the mystical wonder of being one, in a graceful dance of art, can never wrinkle, crinkle, or age.
Because sex is a state of being, it does not revolve around time. Yes, time may need to be set aside for the experience (not event), but you cannot have real sex while wondering, "Do we have enough time to pleasure us both?" "How will we clean up the mess?" "How much longer before I orgasm?" …etc. Until you have parted with these and like event based questions, real sex is beyond your reach. Forget about orgasming, how you will clean up the mess, and if there is time for you to get pleasured. These things only matter if sex, and all parts of it, are viewed as events. But real sex is not event based. Yes, have a way to clean up on hand, and be free to burst yourself and your partner into pleasuring moans, but remember still, that these things are not sex.
Sex is magic. It is not magic in the sense of actual spells, incantations, and the likes, but in the sense of beauty, wonder, and mystery. The rhythmic flow of gentle thrusting, the swelling waves of slow kissing, the passionate grace of a naked, massaging embrace, this is the magic of sex. It is the mystic beauty of two spirits singing, two bodies dancing, and two minds embracing in the perfect harmony of oneness.
Sex is free, not bound. What we mean is, is that contrary to popular belief, sex is not about breasts, balls, vagina's, and penises. They are and can be involved, yes, but real sex is the uniting of the whole body, not just the sexual organs. It involves the uniting of forehead with forehead, nose with nose, lip with lip, neck with neck, chest with chest, navel with navel, thigh with thigh, leg with leg, foot with foot, and toe with toe. Sex is not supposed to be centralized to the sexual organs, bound up in the bonds of medial definition.
Back in the days when people walked around fully clothed, a woman's neck and ankles were considered a turn on. But today, what is sexy has been centralized to the woman's breast and vagina, and the man's penis, because these are the only parts that have to be covered. Imagine men, what it would have been like during your first time sexual experience, if you never saw a woman's shoulder or calves before. But instead, you were probably robbed of this experience due to society. You probably only got to enjoy the experience of viewing a woman's breasts and vagina for the first time, instead of her whole body. Imagine that you had 90% more to see on your wedding night. This thought probably doesn't mean much to you, because shoulders and ankles aren't sexy to you, but they would be if you never saw them before.
A woman's whole body would be considered as sexual today, if woman had never exposed all of their bodies, excepting the breasts and vagina. But instead, men view these as the only sexual parts of the woman, because society has sent them to lifetime in prison on the idea, and nothing can be done to fully reverse it.
Sex is not bound to certain parts of the body, to certain things we can do, to certain ways we can feel, or even certain things we can experience. Sex is free; it's magical. It permeates all things.
Perception
Real sex cannot be had while the individual's perception of real sex is distorted. If sex is bound in our minds to something we can do and feel, then we either need to change our perception of what sex is, or understand that we will never experience it. Sex cannot become boring to those who actually have it. Sex is not something that couples do, but something that they experience. If you're one of those people that have to search for some new thing, place, or position to try, in order to experience "better" sex, it's because you've never experienced it to begin with. There is nothing wrong with trying new positions, going new places, and doing new things, or even sticking with all the old, but these things are not sex. Some of these things may take place during the experience of sex, but they cannot, they never will be sex.
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