Husband and I have been together for 6 1/2 yrs, married for 3 1/2. We have a son together. We did have a rocky beginning to our relationship, but we worked through it. In the beginning of our marriage we had some financial problems and that became the focus of our lives until we finally pulled out of it. For the last year things have actually been ok. Or so I thought.
Found out my husband has been having an emotional affair with a girl that he used to work with. Apparently she came to visit some old friends at his work a couple months ago and they talked and she gave him her number and they began talking. Nothing physical, so he says. I think I believe him.
I had no idea any of this was going on. Nothing really changed. We got into a fight about a month ago and we both decided that there were things we needed to work on. About a week after that I woke up one morning and asked to see his phone. I just knew something was wrong that morning. He got this scared look on his face asking why and telling me that if he showed me his phone I wouldn't understand. That it wasn't what I thought it was. He later confessed to her. I left that night with our son to stay with family. I was crushed. Two weeks after I decided to come back home so that we could talk and figure some things out.
He says he never meant for this to happen. It just did. And how confused he is about the feelings that he has developed for her. He tells me how much he hates himself for hurting me like this and tearing our family apart. How he loves me and cares for me more than he has any other person in his life (not including our son of course) We started marriage counseling last week, we have our second session in a few days. He says he has stopped talking to her, I want to believe that, but it's hard. He tells me that I deserve better, and have always deserved better than what he has been giving me. How I'm the best friend he has ever had and honestly I feel the same. He has always been my best friend.
He says that for awhile he has been feeling emotionally disconnected. And he was scared to talk to me about it because he didn't want to hurt me. Not sure what to think about that. We have been discussing divorce. I would like to be able to at least try and fight for our marriage. When I ask him what he wants he says he doesn't know what he wants. He is still confused about the feelings that he developed for the OW. And he doesn't want to hurt me anymore than he already has and how its unfair for me to stick around waiting for him to figure things out.
I am so confused. The pain from being betrayed like this is overwhelming. I am more hurt by the fact that he lied to me about how he has been feeling. I don't understand how he could have been talking to her and developing these feelings for her and yet coming home to me every night. Telling me that the few times he saw her that all he could think about was me. How he was able to keep being intimate with me and telling me he loves me, all while this was going on.
Is there anything to save? Am I completely crazy for wanting to try and work through this? Is divorce the right move to make? I can't even think clearly anymore. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Found out my husband has been having an emotional affair with a girl that he used to work with. Apparently she came to visit some old friends at his work a couple months ago and they talked and she gave him her number and they began talking. Nothing physical, so he says. I think I believe him.
I had no idea any of this was going on. Nothing really changed. We got into a fight about a month ago and we both decided that there were things we needed to work on. About a week after that I woke up one morning and asked to see his phone. I just knew something was wrong that morning. He got this scared look on his face asking why and telling me that if he showed me his phone I wouldn't understand. That it wasn't what I thought it was. He later confessed to her. I left that night with our son to stay with family. I was crushed. Two weeks after I decided to come back home so that we could talk and figure some things out.
He says he never meant for this to happen. It just did. And how confused he is about the feelings that he has developed for her. He tells me how much he hates himself for hurting me like this and tearing our family apart. How he loves me and cares for me more than he has any other person in his life (not including our son of course) We started marriage counseling last week, we have our second session in a few days. He says he has stopped talking to her, I want to believe that, but it's hard. He tells me that I deserve better, and have always deserved better than what he has been giving me. How I'm the best friend he has ever had and honestly I feel the same. He has always been my best friend.
He says that for awhile he has been feeling emotionally disconnected. And he was scared to talk to me about it because he didn't want to hurt me. Not sure what to think about that. We have been discussing divorce. I would like to be able to at least try and fight for our marriage. When I ask him what he wants he says he doesn't know what he wants. He is still confused about the feelings that he developed for the OW. And he doesn't want to hurt me anymore than he already has and how its unfair for me to stick around waiting for him to figure things out.
I am so confused. The pain from being betrayed like this is overwhelming. I am more hurt by the fact that he lied to me about how he has been feeling. I don't understand how he could have been talking to her and developing these feelings for her and yet coming home to me every night. Telling me that the few times he saw her that all he could think about was me. How he was able to keep being intimate with me and telling me he loves me, all while this was going on.
Is there anything to save? Am I completely crazy for wanting to try and work through this? Is divorce the right move to make? I can't even think clearly anymore. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment