Thank you in advance to anyone who bothers to read this!!
I've been with my boyfriend for about 15 months now, and we have a great relationship which we both want to be long term but he hates me drinking at parties or when I'm out with my friends. Just to clarify I don't drink that much, its not a problem I drink socially at gatherings/parties but know my limits and have never even been sick or done anything really stupid when drinking.
This has been going on for about a year now, and I have stopped drinking a few times to try and help him but it never seemed to get better. In November we were going to a friends party, and he didn't think I would be drinking because apparently I had promised him I wouldn't which I hadn't and when he saw me drinking he left and when I went after him he was shouting and getting upset, basically didn't want me to be with him and said it was over so I went back to the party and got his friends to go and check on him.
We were broken up for about a month (we break up quite a lot over this but for no more than a few days to a week usually) and I really missed him and he missed me, and we ended up getting back together on the condition that he went to the doctors to try and sort this out and I stopped in the mean time. I also have been keeping it a secret from my friends as they all dislike him and he doesn't like them either because of all this, I hate doing it but I didn't want to look like an idiot for the millionth time if he messed up again.
A month and a half on I haven't been drinking, but he still hasn't gone to the doctors and is saying its too hard. I've tried to reassure him etc but he wont go. We had a long talk about it on Friday because I was upset about it and just knowing he will break up with me if I drink doesn't make me feel loved or anything. My friend had a small gathering yesterday for her 18th which I went to and had a few drinks because he said he would try to deal with it for me, and try to put me first. When I got home last night he asked if I'd stopped and I said I hadn't and he is now really upset, saying I have broken my promise, don't love him etc, and now he's ignoring me.
I really don't know what to do I love him and want to be with him but I hate all of this, and don't know if he will ever move forward, but its so hard to let go and give up because the apart from this our relationship is so good. Any advice would be really appreciated, thank you :)
I've been with my boyfriend for about 15 months now, and we have a great relationship which we both want to be long term but he hates me drinking at parties or when I'm out with my friends. Just to clarify I don't drink that much, its not a problem I drink socially at gatherings/parties but know my limits and have never even been sick or done anything really stupid when drinking.
This has been going on for about a year now, and I have stopped drinking a few times to try and help him but it never seemed to get better. In November we were going to a friends party, and he didn't think I would be drinking because apparently I had promised him I wouldn't which I hadn't and when he saw me drinking he left and when I went after him he was shouting and getting upset, basically didn't want me to be with him and said it was over so I went back to the party and got his friends to go and check on him.
We were broken up for about a month (we break up quite a lot over this but for no more than a few days to a week usually) and I really missed him and he missed me, and we ended up getting back together on the condition that he went to the doctors to try and sort this out and I stopped in the mean time. I also have been keeping it a secret from my friends as they all dislike him and he doesn't like them either because of all this, I hate doing it but I didn't want to look like an idiot for the millionth time if he messed up again.
A month and a half on I haven't been drinking, but he still hasn't gone to the doctors and is saying its too hard. I've tried to reassure him etc but he wont go. We had a long talk about it on Friday because I was upset about it and just knowing he will break up with me if I drink doesn't make me feel loved or anything. My friend had a small gathering yesterday for her 18th which I went to and had a few drinks because he said he would try to deal with it for me, and try to put me first. When I got home last night he asked if I'd stopped and I said I hadn't and he is now really upset, saying I have broken my promise, don't love him etc, and now he's ignoring me.
I really don't know what to do I love him and want to be with him but I hate all of this, and don't know if he will ever move forward, but its so hard to let go and give up because the apart from this our relationship is so good. Any advice would be really appreciated, thank you :)
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