Hi, I re-posted my story here from my original post "Is my wife cheating?" from about a few weeks ago. I just wanted to hear a woman's point of view for this one though. Thanks so much and sorry for the long post in advance.
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 10 years, give or take a few months. We've had our ups and downs, and we even broke up twice before. I'm 28 years old, and I am a doctor. I'm about to start my training for specialization and things have been awfully busy lately. I am a pretty understanding guy and although I may not be the perfect husband, I believe I have been good to her. No kids, engaged to marry in a year or so but she doesn't wear the ring.
My wife (I call her that) has lately been wanting more time alone. So I gave it to her. I don't know why because she can pretty much go out whenever she wants, do whatever she likes, and I even allow her to flirt with guys she meets at the club when she goes out with her friends. I don't go with them because I don't drink, she says she wants to dance and I don't dance, and she also said she feels good when other men hit on her. Which was fine by me. I understand that sometimes she needed an "ego boost" as she would say because we have been together for so long.
3 months ago, she asked me for a weekend off to meet her friend from abroad who came here to the US. I said "Of course hon." Now when I say I am a doctor in training, it is safe to say I don't earn a lot and I have tons of student loans to pay. She doesn't work and although her family is well off, we never ask them for anything. I paid for her weekend off and I was really worried when she didn't answer her phone one night. Needless to say, to make a very long story shorter, I found out she was with a girl and 2 guys (one of which she swears was gay) whom she met at the bar. We talked it through and it was settled. All was water under the bridge.
Then she started distancing herself from me, both physically and emotionally. January 21, 2014 I had to go home after I already left for work because I forgot some of my stuff and she was not there. I called her and asked innocently where she was and she said she was at home just relaxing. I went to work and took an early day off. Called her and asked what she was doing (as I normaly do) and she told me the same thing. So, innocently again, I asked her if I can pick her up for dinner because I got off early. She said she was actually out because she was feeling sad. I asked her how because I brought the car with me and she said she walked a bit. Anyway, she asked me to wait for her at the mall where she was supposedly in because she wanted to walk around alone.
In the following days, she ended up always hiding her phone and deleting the logs. I caught her using tinder and snapchatting a guy. I managed to restore one day of deleted messages on her phone. January 20, 2014. One of the rare times I got a day of and spent it with her, and she was texting the guy, saying that she was excited to see him the following day (Jan 21st), that she wants to cuddle and stuff.
Now my mistake was confronting her at once with this. She said it was nothing sexual. Yet she lied because apparently the
guy is an ass and blogged their messages online. (I happen to be lucky enough to have a brother who is an IT) so i compared notes as she said they just ate lunch out and hung out by panda express. Truth that i managed to pry from her when faced with evidence is they met twice before I caught them and she went to his house to meet her father. (Which she denied until I showed her evidence from the guy's blog). She still kept in touch with the guy saying they are just friends and its no big deal. I blew up and deleted her tinder account and snap chat so they have no means of communicating now (I hope).
Now this might sound very confusing but please feel free to ask away. I'll try to be as non biased as I can be. I just really need help because she went out again tonight and is planning to go out again on Friday, V day, with friends supposedly that I haven't met yet. I feel like she might be with someone else again because she told me she was going on a Pub alone to hang out. (Very out of character for her). I think that maybe i just need to hear it from someone else.
Is she having an affair or not? And what now? Thank you so much.
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 10 years, give or take a few months. We've had our ups and downs, and we even broke up twice before. I'm 28 years old, and I am a doctor. I'm about to start my training for specialization and things have been awfully busy lately. I am a pretty understanding guy and although I may not be the perfect husband, I believe I have been good to her. No kids, engaged to marry in a year or so but she doesn't wear the ring.
My wife (I call her that) has lately been wanting more time alone. So I gave it to her. I don't know why because she can pretty much go out whenever she wants, do whatever she likes, and I even allow her to flirt with guys she meets at the club when she goes out with her friends. I don't go with them because I don't drink, she says she wants to dance and I don't dance, and she also said she feels good when other men hit on her. Which was fine by me. I understand that sometimes she needed an "ego boost" as she would say because we have been together for so long.
3 months ago, she asked me for a weekend off to meet her friend from abroad who came here to the US. I said "Of course hon." Now when I say I am a doctor in training, it is safe to say I don't earn a lot and I have tons of student loans to pay. She doesn't work and although her family is well off, we never ask them for anything. I paid for her weekend off and I was really worried when she didn't answer her phone one night. Needless to say, to make a very long story shorter, I found out she was with a girl and 2 guys (one of which she swears was gay) whom she met at the bar. We talked it through and it was settled. All was water under the bridge.
Then she started distancing herself from me, both physically and emotionally. January 21, 2014 I had to go home after I already left for work because I forgot some of my stuff and she was not there. I called her and asked innocently where she was and she said she was at home just relaxing. I went to work and took an early day off. Called her and asked what she was doing (as I normaly do) and she told me the same thing. So, innocently again, I asked her if I can pick her up for dinner because I got off early. She said she was actually out because she was feeling sad. I asked her how because I brought the car with me and she said she walked a bit. Anyway, she asked me to wait for her at the mall where she was supposedly in because she wanted to walk around alone.
In the following days, she ended up always hiding her phone and deleting the logs. I caught her using tinder and snapchatting a guy. I managed to restore one day of deleted messages on her phone. January 20, 2014. One of the rare times I got a day of and spent it with her, and she was texting the guy, saying that she was excited to see him the following day (Jan 21st), that she wants to cuddle and stuff.
Now my mistake was confronting her at once with this. She said it was nothing sexual. Yet she lied because apparently the
guy is an ass and blogged their messages online. (I happen to be lucky enough to have a brother who is an IT) so i compared notes as she said they just ate lunch out and hung out by panda express. Truth that i managed to pry from her when faced with evidence is they met twice before I caught them and she went to his house to meet her father. (Which she denied until I showed her evidence from the guy's blog). She still kept in touch with the guy saying they are just friends and its no big deal. I blew up and deleted her tinder account and snap chat so they have no means of communicating now (I hope).
Now this might sound very confusing but please feel free to ask away. I'll try to be as non biased as I can be. I just really need help because she went out again tonight and is planning to go out again on Friday, V day, with friends supposedly that I haven't met yet. I feel like she might be with someone else again because she told me she was going on a Pub alone to hang out. (Very out of character for her). I think that maybe i just need to hear it from someone else.
Is she having an affair or not? And what now? Thank you so much.
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