Heyy guys
I've known this guy for a couple years and though we aren't "official" we are around together often. We are close friends but we are attracted to each other at the same time. He's tried to make a move more than once but I kept brushing him off because I don't feel ready, only because I haven't been in a proper relationship before and feel scared of the prospect of falling hard for him.
It's fair to say we know each other very well but I don't think I know him as well as I'd like to to get involved with him (but that's because I was scared of getting involved in the first place). I'm also a virgin (because I like the idea of saving myself for the one I love so please don't judge) so I'm pretty experienced.
Out of the blue, he proposed to me recently. I was scared ****less. You don't understand how shocked and scared I was because it was unexpected and I felt rushed and not ready. Plus, we're not "intimate" and I think we should get to know each other better. I don't know if I love him or not because I'm fighting against the idea. I wanted to "have fun" and not get tied down so soon and at a young age like this (I'm 18).
I think most of my reservations toward him stem from the fact that I don't know him as well as I'd like to and because he's extremely good-looking. I feel so out of his league and it was something many girls have snidely commented on before which doesn't make me feel great. I'm only average looking (fair, black hair, brown eyes, 5'1) and he's got the typical European/American looks and is quite tall so I feel way out of my league. We're like opposites and I don't know if we match. I can't help thinking I'm not good enough or that he'll change his mind sometime and I'll just end up hurt.
I told him that it was too soon (my dad heard about his proposal and nearly beat him up because he didn't want me to get married at 18 or any time soon for that matter), but he insisted that we could get engaged for the time being and get to know each other better in the process. He said marriage can wait a few years. But what if I'm wrong about this? I do have strong feelings towards him but I keep supressing them, saying that they're just hormones. I've always dreamt of falling in love but now that it can become a reality I'm just scared :o I know you probably think I'm just being stupid and need to toughen up but I can't help it.
I don't know how to tell him that I'm willing to reconsider his proposal (I flat out refused but he keeps asking me again and again) after a year or so and after we spend more time together, but I think that there must be a point where he will just give up thinking I'm simply not interested. I don't want to keep him hanging but I also don't want to lose him. It's all very selfish I know :o (that's why I'm making the post anonymous)
How can I be sure that this is the guy for me and that I actually love him and it's not an infatuation/lust?
How can I get to know him better because he's going abroad to Poland soon to study and I probably won't see him for 2 years except for holidays?
Thank you to anyone who contributes or helps!
I've known this guy for a couple years and though we aren't "official" we are around together often. We are close friends but we are attracted to each other at the same time. He's tried to make a move more than once but I kept brushing him off because I don't feel ready, only because I haven't been in a proper relationship before and feel scared of the prospect of falling hard for him.
It's fair to say we know each other very well but I don't think I know him as well as I'd like to to get involved with him (but that's because I was scared of getting involved in the first place). I'm also a virgin (because I like the idea of saving myself for the one I love so please don't judge) so I'm pretty experienced.
Out of the blue, he proposed to me recently. I was scared ****less. You don't understand how shocked and scared I was because it was unexpected and I felt rushed and not ready. Plus, we're not "intimate" and I think we should get to know each other better. I don't know if I love him or not because I'm fighting against the idea. I wanted to "have fun" and not get tied down so soon and at a young age like this (I'm 18).
I think most of my reservations toward him stem from the fact that I don't know him as well as I'd like to and because he's extremely good-looking. I feel so out of his league and it was something many girls have snidely commented on before which doesn't make me feel great. I'm only average looking (fair, black hair, brown eyes, 5'1) and he's got the typical European/American looks and is quite tall so I feel way out of my league. We're like opposites and I don't know if we match. I can't help thinking I'm not good enough or that he'll change his mind sometime and I'll just end up hurt.
I told him that it was too soon (my dad heard about his proposal and nearly beat him up because he didn't want me to get married at 18 or any time soon for that matter), but he insisted that we could get engaged for the time being and get to know each other better in the process. He said marriage can wait a few years. But what if I'm wrong about this? I do have strong feelings towards him but I keep supressing them, saying that they're just hormones. I've always dreamt of falling in love but now that it can become a reality I'm just scared :o I know you probably think I'm just being stupid and need to toughen up but I can't help it.
I don't know how to tell him that I'm willing to reconsider his proposal (I flat out refused but he keeps asking me again and again) after a year or so and after we spend more time together, but I think that there must be a point where he will just give up thinking I'm simply not interested. I don't want to keep him hanging but I also don't want to lose him. It's all very selfish I know :o (that's why I'm making the post anonymous)
How can I be sure that this is the guy for me and that I actually love him and it's not an infatuation/lust?
How can I get to know him better because he's going abroad to Poland soon to study and I probably won't see him for 2 years except for holidays?
Thank you to anyone who contributes or helps!
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