Earlier this week I went over to a friend's house to watch films and have a takeaway/catch-up kind of thing. We've known each other for just over 5 years, been friends for just over 3 and been fairly close friends for about 18 months.
I sort of had been getting hints for a while that he was into me (calling me cute, we started being a bit more caring towards each other in conversations, him getting irritated when I mentioned other guys I liked...), so I had this intuition that something would happen. Everything falling short of sex basically happened. I felt weird, he felt weird, but I guessed that that was normal. We had a talk about whether it could work, but because of how I live far away for most of the year and a few mismatches in our lifestyles/outlook on life, it was sort of clear that nothing could happen.
We were due to meet up with some other friends later on this week, and I hinted that perhaps we could drop subtle hints about what happened so that we could have some alone time later on in the night (I felt uncomfortable about having sex with other people in the house). It wasn't unexpected but he said he'd felt uncomfortable and wanted us to forget about things. He explained he'd been attracted to me for a long time, but reiterated the above, plus the fact that we'd been friends for too long for him to change into seeing me as a girlfriend. I surprised myself with how upset I was - I think I'd been ignoring my feelings for him for a few months, which is why it stung. We had an argument and fell out for about a day before I insisted it wasn't worth us falling out.
We went out again with mutual friends last night and it seemed as though everything was back to normal. However, in the car on our own, we got talking about things again (we're always very open with each other). He basically suggested that if the kissing had made things weird, it's possible that going further (neither of us have had sex for a long time so we're very frustrated) might not do any more damage. He said he'd been horny all night because of what I was wearing and had said how unfair it was when I asked for a piggyback, as my heels were killing me. I've agreed to see him next week in some sort of capacity, as regardless he really wants to spend time with me before I leave for university again.
It's odd because while he's said he's always found me physically attractive and he'd be upset if he lost the friendship, I've never found him that attractive physically. He has a great personality and I admire him for the strength he's shown through many serious personal problems. Am I best steering clear? While he's a very honest guy, he has wavered a bit from "let's forget this ever happened" to "let's spend an evening together and if you want sex, you can have sex", so I'm holding out hope that he's just as confused as I am :(
I sort of had been getting hints for a while that he was into me (calling me cute, we started being a bit more caring towards each other in conversations, him getting irritated when I mentioned other guys I liked...), so I had this intuition that something would happen. Everything falling short of sex basically happened. I felt weird, he felt weird, but I guessed that that was normal. We had a talk about whether it could work, but because of how I live far away for most of the year and a few mismatches in our lifestyles/outlook on life, it was sort of clear that nothing could happen.
We were due to meet up with some other friends later on this week, and I hinted that perhaps we could drop subtle hints about what happened so that we could have some alone time later on in the night (I felt uncomfortable about having sex with other people in the house). It wasn't unexpected but he said he'd felt uncomfortable and wanted us to forget about things. He explained he'd been attracted to me for a long time, but reiterated the above, plus the fact that we'd been friends for too long for him to change into seeing me as a girlfriend. I surprised myself with how upset I was - I think I'd been ignoring my feelings for him for a few months, which is why it stung. We had an argument and fell out for about a day before I insisted it wasn't worth us falling out.
We went out again with mutual friends last night and it seemed as though everything was back to normal. However, in the car on our own, we got talking about things again (we're always very open with each other). He basically suggested that if the kissing had made things weird, it's possible that going further (neither of us have had sex for a long time so we're very frustrated) might not do any more damage. He said he'd been horny all night because of what I was wearing and had said how unfair it was when I asked for a piggyback, as my heels were killing me. I've agreed to see him next week in some sort of capacity, as regardless he really wants to spend time with me before I leave for university again.
It's odd because while he's said he's always found me physically attractive and he'd be upset if he lost the friendship, I've never found him that attractive physically. He has a great personality and I admire him for the strength he's shown through many serious personal problems. Am I best steering clear? While he's a very honest guy, he has wavered a bit from "let's forget this ever happened" to "let's spend an evening together and if you want sex, you can have sex", so I'm holding out hope that he's just as confused as I am :(
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