Something occurred to me last night: all I have to go on what happened is what my SO confessed her self, but I have not heard the OM's version of the "story"
My SO confessed to me what happened (one night of regretful sex with co-worker) a few years after the fact, so all trails are cold and there's is no evidence to be found.
Given that we moved away from where OM lives years ago, I could send the OM a Facebook message from a throw-away account asking him some details of his and my SO's past encounter(s). My SO and I are in R, and D-day was last year from her own confession. As far as I know, OM does not know me or what I look like.
I'm now thinking of writing him that I know what occurred between him and my SO a couple of years ago and that my SO confessed everything. I could take it from the angle that I'm looking for some closure on the situation and ask if he could put my mind at ease and the issue behind us by answering some questions. Below is a draft message I want to send. Please help me out.
"Hello (POSOM),
You don't know me, but our paths crossed (#) years ago through (SO). Not long ago she confessed everything to me about what you and her did while her and I were in a relationship. She hid this from me for (#) years, which I consider as grotesque manipulation on her part since all of my life decisions were based on her lies.
My purpose for contacting you is to get some closure and put this all behind me. All I am asking of you is to help me get the story straight by answering a few questions to verify (SO) story as true, so that I can make difficult decisions based on the truth. I ask you to not contact her regarding this. My questions are as follows:
1. Briefly, what kind of relationship did you have with (SO) (physical/romantic, duration)
2. Approximately how many times and how frequently did you sleep together?
3. Approximately when was the last time you had any form of contact with her?
I appreciate your honest response.
(supersystem alias)"
What do you all think?
What do you all think?
My SO confessed to me what happened (one night of regretful sex with co-worker) a few years after the fact, so all trails are cold and there's is no evidence to be found.
Given that we moved away from where OM lives years ago, I could send the OM a Facebook message from a throw-away account asking him some details of his and my SO's past encounter(s). My SO and I are in R, and D-day was last year from her own confession. As far as I know, OM does not know me or what I look like.
I'm now thinking of writing him that I know what occurred between him and my SO a couple of years ago and that my SO confessed everything. I could take it from the angle that I'm looking for some closure on the situation and ask if he could put my mind at ease and the issue behind us by answering some questions. Below is a draft message I want to send. Please help me out.
"Hello (POSOM),
You don't know me, but our paths crossed (#) years ago through (SO). Not long ago she confessed everything to me about what you and her did while her and I were in a relationship. She hid this from me for (#) years, which I consider as grotesque manipulation on her part since all of my life decisions were based on her lies.
My purpose for contacting you is to get some closure and put this all behind me. All I am asking of you is to help me get the story straight by answering a few questions to verify (SO) story as true, so that I can make difficult decisions based on the truth. I ask you to not contact her regarding this. My questions are as follows:
1. Briefly, what kind of relationship did you have with (SO) (physical/romantic, duration)
2. Approximately how many times and how frequently did you sleep together?
3. Approximately when was the last time you had any form of contact with her?
I appreciate your honest response.
(supersystem alias)"
What do you all think?
What do you all think?
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