Sitting in an airport right now trying to decide what action I should take. The key points - H and I have been together 4 years - married for 1. Things have been very strained since we got the "piece of paper" last fall. He's become someone that I don't even recognize. No acknowledgement of my birthday, date nights don't happen unless I beg and even then he'll typically tell me that he's tired and wants to go home.
I'm feeling very neglected and hurt lately and this escalated three days ago. We were out with friends (only a mile from home) and he decided he wanted to go home so he put car keys in my hand and told me that he was walking home. No notice that he was unhappy or what he was thinking. I thought everyone was having a good night. It's not the first time he's done this. I was furious.
There was an argument that night and then the silent treatment all weekend long. Not a word - even when I tried to talk about neutral things. This morning I needed to leave on a business trip so I told him a few things about groceries and such for the week while I was gone (no kids - just us). No response. Two hours of silent treatment this morning and then 10 minutes before my ride was to show up at the door he unloaded. He blamed everything on me, told me that I did not appreciate him and that I did not support him. Just unloaded the most hurtful things. I knew it was just a form of manipulation so I fought like anything to maintain my composure, did not lash out but calmly said "I love you and care about you and I want to know how to show you that in ways that you can appreciate". And then I walked out the door.
In my heart I don't believe anything that he said but it is very hard and it hurts so much. I'm now gone for a full week and I know that I won't hear from him. He wants me to chase after him and apologize for something that I don't believe that I did. Total Emotional Blackmail and I'm so mad at him for it. I want to explain to him why that was inappropriate behavior but I know that will not work. So I'm left alone in an airport wondering what are my boundaries for staying in this relationship. I can't imagine ending it but I can't continue on. I so wish someone would talk to him about this form of communication - he won't listen to me.
I'm feeling very neglected and hurt lately and this escalated three days ago. We were out with friends (only a mile from home) and he decided he wanted to go home so he put car keys in my hand and told me that he was walking home. No notice that he was unhappy or what he was thinking. I thought everyone was having a good night. It's not the first time he's done this. I was furious.
There was an argument that night and then the silent treatment all weekend long. Not a word - even when I tried to talk about neutral things. This morning I needed to leave on a business trip so I told him a few things about groceries and such for the week while I was gone (no kids - just us). No response. Two hours of silent treatment this morning and then 10 minutes before my ride was to show up at the door he unloaded. He blamed everything on me, told me that I did not appreciate him and that I did not support him. Just unloaded the most hurtful things. I knew it was just a form of manipulation so I fought like anything to maintain my composure, did not lash out but calmly said "I love you and care about you and I want to know how to show you that in ways that you can appreciate". And then I walked out the door.
In my heart I don't believe anything that he said but it is very hard and it hurts so much. I'm now gone for a full week and I know that I won't hear from him. He wants me to chase after him and apologize for something that I don't believe that I did. Total Emotional Blackmail and I'm so mad at him for it. I want to explain to him why that was inappropriate behavior but I know that will not work. So I'm left alone in an airport wondering what are my boundaries for staying in this relationship. I can't imagine ending it but I can't continue on. I so wish someone would talk to him about this form of communication - he won't listen to me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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